Presence, what does that mean?
For me it means being fully aware and engaged in whatever it is I am doing.
We live in a day in age when multitasking is all the rage, the more we can get done in a single moment the more effective we are, but for who?
Does any one task truly get the presence of mind it deserves?
I used to get frustrated with my husband because he is not a multitasker, he would get frustrated with me because I wouldn't do something "with mind" as he called it. Together we are finding balance.
When we are present in whatever we are engaged in our whole being is there, we are not thinking about what else has to be done through the day. We are not replaying what has already occurred this week, we are simply being. Now yes one can consciously choose to spend time reflecting on past events, or planning what we'd like to accomplish in what time period but we must be aware of where our thoughts are at all times, this for me is presence.
I'm just as guilty as the next gal, I often catch myself writing this blog while I'm cooking dinner or thinking about my next status update while I'm reading posts from friends. Catching your thoughts or rather letting your thoughts go is surrender. Surrendering to what is, without trying to escape from the reality you've created around you and embracing all that life is the presence I'm cultivating with this challenge.
Today I was tested in surrender, firstly it marked the beginning of that lovely time of month we women share, I don't usually blog about menstruation but trust me I bring it up because it will be relevant. I decided to do an online yoga class geared at honoring the menstrual cycle and was half way through the VERY relaxing practice when my phone rang, the kids were sleeping so I jumped up to answer it, hubby informed me that my friends were here. "What?" I stammered...
I had been chatting with a friend who was in Delhi on vacation and hoping to make the trek to our auspicious town but her husband had been under the weather and they were beginning to run short on time. She mentioned that today was the day they would like to arrive but I didn't hear from her so I assumed her hubby was still not feeling up to travelling. Low and behold here they were in our Holy Town searching for us, she couldn't get through on my phone and I wasn't receiving her messages on social media.
For a second I panic'd, what was I going to do with them? Now that my monthly visitor had arrived it wasn't like I could take them to any of the five thousand temples our town in known for. I have mentioned numerous times that we live in a Holy Town here in India and with that comes certain rules; like not entering any sacred site while menstruating.
I can hear you now echoing my same questions years ago "who is going to know?" "will someone be checking you before you enter a temple?" and the answer is no, no one will check and I, along with my husband, would be the only ones to know. I recently caught myself arguing "explain to me why?" No one has a clear answer, its just not considered clean. Again the feminist in me bangs her head against the wall. this mentality from ancient times sure I can understand but nowadays we have extra absorbency pads and even better tampons or Devi cups. I'd still like to know what makes us women impure during this time so please enlighten me if you know.
In the meantime I choose to surrender. I chatted with my friend over chai and explained the situation, she too being married to an Indian and living in 'Westernized' India six month out of the year said it probably wouldn't stop her but respected my decision. We discussed many "rules" while she was here that I abide by, "How do you do it? How do you handle being told you can't do something?" she asked with genuine curiosity. I explained I'm the one that made the choice to live in a foreign culture, one that came with rules and restrictions. I can't expect it to change just because I'm here and would like it a certain way. I made the choice so I have to accept what is the reality around me. I bend rules where I can, I get away with a lot more than my Indian sister in laws but some rules no matter how absurd they may seem, have meaning, and if they mean something to my husband my love for him allows me to just follow it. Does it hurt me to not go to temple for a few days out of each month? No not at all, so why fight it? There are so many wonderful things to focus on about my life here getting caught up in the restrictions are not worth my time.
For me it means being fully aware and engaged in whatever it is I am doing.
We live in a day in age when multitasking is all the rage, the more we can get done in a single moment the more effective we are, but for who?
Does any one task truly get the presence of mind it deserves?
I used to get frustrated with my husband because he is not a multitasker, he would get frustrated with me because I wouldn't do something "with mind" as he called it. Together we are finding balance.
When we are present in whatever we are engaged in our whole being is there, we are not thinking about what else has to be done through the day. We are not replaying what has already occurred this week, we are simply being. Now yes one can consciously choose to spend time reflecting on past events, or planning what we'd like to accomplish in what time period but we must be aware of where our thoughts are at all times, this for me is presence.
I'm just as guilty as the next gal, I often catch myself writing this blog while I'm cooking dinner or thinking about my next status update while I'm reading posts from friends. Catching your thoughts or rather letting your thoughts go is surrender. Surrendering to what is, without trying to escape from the reality you've created around you and embracing all that life is the presence I'm cultivating with this challenge.
Today I was tested in surrender, firstly it marked the beginning of that lovely time of month we women share, I don't usually blog about menstruation but trust me I bring it up because it will be relevant. I decided to do an online yoga class geared at honoring the menstrual cycle and was half way through the VERY relaxing practice when my phone rang, the kids were sleeping so I jumped up to answer it, hubby informed me that my friends were here. "What?" I stammered...
I had been chatting with a friend who was in Delhi on vacation and hoping to make the trek to our auspicious town but her husband had been under the weather and they were beginning to run short on time. She mentioned that today was the day they would like to arrive but I didn't hear from her so I assumed her hubby was still not feeling up to travelling. Low and behold here they were in our Holy Town searching for us, she couldn't get through on my phone and I wasn't receiving her messages on social media.
For a second I panic'd, what was I going to do with them? Now that my monthly visitor had arrived it wasn't like I could take them to any of the five thousand temples our town in known for. I have mentioned numerous times that we live in a Holy Town here in India and with that comes certain rules; like not entering any sacred site while menstruating.
I can hear you now echoing my same questions years ago "who is going to know?" "will someone be checking you before you enter a temple?" and the answer is no, no one will check and I, along with my husband, would be the only ones to know. I recently caught myself arguing "explain to me why?" No one has a clear answer, its just not considered clean. Again the feminist in me bangs her head against the wall. this mentality from ancient times sure I can understand but nowadays we have extra absorbency pads and even better tampons or Devi cups. I'd still like to know what makes us women impure during this time so please enlighten me if you know.
In the meantime I choose to surrender. I chatted with my friend over chai and explained the situation, she too being married to an Indian and living in 'Westernized' India six month out of the year said it probably wouldn't stop her but respected my decision. We discussed many "rules" while she was here that I abide by, "How do you do it? How do you handle being told you can't do something?" she asked with genuine curiosity. I explained I'm the one that made the choice to live in a foreign culture, one that came with rules and restrictions. I can't expect it to change just because I'm here and would like it a certain way. I made the choice so I have to accept what is the reality around me. I bend rules where I can, I get away with a lot more than my Indian sister in laws but some rules no matter how absurd they may seem, have meaning, and if they mean something to my husband my love for him allows me to just follow it. Does it hurt me to not go to temple for a few days out of each month? No not at all, so why fight it? There are so many wonderful things to focus on about my life here getting caught up in the restrictions are not worth my time.
Its probably a good thing I didn't know she was coming I would have stressed not knowing how to entertain someone in my Bhakti town, but we had a blast, We went to Prem Mandir which my hubby and I lovingly refer to as the Vegas of Vrindavan with its lights and water show. With so much to see and do outside of worship it was a perfect evening. We were able to sit outside enjoying the sights and sounds of the grounds, my three year old guided them inside the temple for Darshan (prayers), we ate great food and laughed loudly. It really is a spectacle and my friends loved every inch of it! I was there, not worried about what will do tomorrow, trusting it will reveal itself when the moment arrives, for now I'm basking in the ability to surrender and gratitude for the lesson of day.
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