Love Love Love

Love Love Love

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Can my truth hurt others?

After last week’s blog about conditioned responses I received a comment “Genuine with a touch of common sense so as not to hurt others with the truth” this sparked an interesting internal dialogue for me. How can my truth hurt others?

I thought about the differences in the two cultures I’ve been living in. Canadians are very concerned about hurting one another’s feelings, on a profound level this can often lead many people to denying their own truth in an effort to shield those they love. They don’t realize the damage they are doing to themselves and to those they are trying to ‘protect.’ But that’s a whole other blog.

I never fully comprehended how sensitive I was until I moved to India. Here there is a frankness amongst the people back in Canada we would describe as ‘brutally honest’. I joke with my girlfriends back home, if you think your butt looks big in your jeans then don’t ask an Indian boy cause he’ll tell you it does if indeed it does (and truthfully, you already know the answer.) I have not come across anyone who offers “white lies” here, there is no ‘sugarcoating’ or as Indians call it no ‘oiling’ the truth. They don’t worry about what others reactions might be they just tell it like it is in their opinion. Many times I felt tears welling up based on something my partner or family commented on. I felt like I was being picked on but as my heart grows stronger I realize that each time I take offence to what has been said to me, it’s an ego reaction and a beautiful chance for continued spiritual growth. Living in the India with this new version of truthfulness I’ve really had to walk the walk when it comes to one of my favorite quotes; “You can’t control other people’s actions only your reactions to them.”

I wondered if it is actually hurting us to tiptoe around our truth in Canada under the guise of politeness. If being raised to be polite we are somehow weakening our ability to hear the truth without ego getting in the way. It leaves us unsure of whom we really are without the approval, acceptance and acknowledgment from others. After days of contemplative meditation I believe it all stems from a lack of knowing our soul, the disconnection we have from God-self, the most authentic part of ourselves. Once we tap into that and begin the healing process of reconnecting back to our most authentic self there is nothing anyone can do or say that can truly hurt us. Our heart and soul can never really be hurt by anyone else’s truth only our egos perception of it. Our truth is ours to live freely and joyously. We can all live in harmony by accepting we are all different and each version, of each individual’s truth, is right for them and more importantly not ours to take offense from.






Friday, July 8, 2011

Are your responses conditioned?

In my last blog I talked about using my pregnancy as a gateway for evolving my consciousness and so far it’s working like a charm. This doesn’t mean I haven’t cried, or felt angry but I’ve been able to remain conscious which was my intention; to allow the emotions but not get caught up in them.

I’m deepening my connection to self and my genuine feelings and this led me to do a little research on myself. By paying closer attention to all of my responses “good” or “bad” I have begun recognizing whether or not my reaction is conditioned. I’ve been checking in to see if the response is genuine or something I’ve learned. Perhaps I respond to a situation the way my mother always has, or I like a certain object because somebody I admire once shared that they enjoyed it. I’m trying to figure out what is real for me, I must admit it’s a very interesting process!

I can remember one of my aunts telling me her daughter didn’t like tomatoes. In truth it was the mother who didn’t like them. When I fed this three year old child tomato she enjoyed them thoroughly. I recall another time when my younger sister had a friend over, we cut up fresh fruit and sat it on the table. The fruits weren’t uncommon in our home, pineapple, cantaloupe, honeydew, the little girl watched my sisters eat with enthusiasm, I asked her if she’d like some since she obviously wasn’t about to help herself. She said “no I don’t like those” I asked if she had tried them before and she admitted she hadn’t. My mother suggested she try a piece of pineapple as she herself munched on some “it’s my favorite” she added, the little girls eyes welled with tears, at the tender age of five she was already conditioned to fear anything out of the ordinary. It made me realize how blessed I was from childhood to have people around exposing me to so much. Very little restriction was placed on my sense of adventure, ranging from my palate to my desire to roam the world. I can’t recall limitations ever being set.

I still do however grapple with fear when it comes to many things in my life but once again I have realized that fear is a definite gateway. When I feel any “negative” emotion, if I search deep enough it usually finds its source in fear. Then the obvious question I ask is what am I honestly scared of? Fear only exists only in the absence of love, so when we shine the light of our love into the darkness of fear, it disappears. So they say…I’m still working on this one.

My goal is to make sure each response comes from a genuine place of spirit, from my soul, not my ego’s attachment to what it thinks it knows. I can already feel the sacred balance coming into alignment in my soul’s journey.