When the shift happened and I saw stars in the darkness...

It all really started to shift back into place during Adhik Mass here in India it's an auspicious month that according to the lunar calender happens approx every three years,

A month that should be and completely was devoted to "self-development, evaluation, assessment, reflection, retrospection and Introspection", so that is exactly what I did. I made the commitment to get back to me, to listen to the prompts, to give up the excuses, to stop wallowing in victimhood. I took back control but at the same time surrendered; one of the many paradoxes faced on the spiritual path. Two seemingly opposite theories yet both divinely intertwined.

During Adhik Mass they say "it is a time for one's own soul and spirit to complete all pending work, detoxify the body and engage in spiritual rituals. To regain ones strength in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual terms."

About a week into the month I decided to join with of my family members who were engaging in Parikrama, it is a walk circling an area or sacred spot, in this instance the town I call home in India, 11 km that encompasses all five thousand ancient temples, It is said to purify ones world, eliminating karma and releasing one from the cycle of birth and rebirth. I've done it before but the last time was five years ago.

While walking, barefoot I may add, I thought about all of the excuses I've used since marrying my beloved and giving birth to our two children, I was growing increasingly ill, and stressed. I was still far more reactive than I wanted to be, I knew this walk was what I needed to begin empowering myself again, facing a challenge can remind you of how little the little peeves really are.

We, a number of family members including some of the children, left at 4:30am and it was still dark outside, years ago it was dirt roads, when I first started travelling to India only seven years ago it was still dirt roads but now the entire thing is concrete, The government kept one area off to the side fenced in similar to sidewalks in the west where the dust remains, unfortunately it is also a dumping ground for thousands of outsiders who descend upon our town each day, Workers have been trying to keep it clean but to no avail, so on the pavement we sauntered, my feet began to ache at about the half way point.

I seriously considered jumping on a passing rickshaw, I questioned the point of continuing, what was this really serving? My family was doing it for God. I don't believe in a God that blesses some and punishes others, if that was the case then why oh Lord why are people like Kanye West and Kim Kardashian still living large while school teachers are being poorly paid and often purchasing school supplies their own money?

I begged to know was this serving my higher self? My God self?

And then it happened, the undeniable call of a peacock, the morning sun igniting the moment.

I slowed and was in awe, could it really be?

The peacock is symbolic in almost every faith and country.

In Greek mythology Hera gave the peacock it's many eyes to see the past, present and future, the all knowing eye (truth). Chinese say that the blending of the five colours of it's feathers gives us the sweet harmony of sound. In Egypt, the peacock is associated with the Sun God Ra. In Christianity the peacock symbolises death and resurrection. And here in India he is associated with Lord Krishna, the very God whose path I was following for this walk; the ultimate enjoyer and lover of life. 

I felt a presence, larger than the bird in front of me, larger than me, it's one I've known since childhood and I felt the message being offered; "you've got this, there is nothing you can not achieve if you really want it" 

My spirit lifted and I felt a spring in my step. I wanted this, I wanted to prove to myself I once more that I was capable, capable of anything and everything!

About three quarters of the way through I couldn't understand how my sister in laws were still walking normally, I was hobbling. They were on day four of this walk, day four! I thought my feet had gotten tough after five years running around India but I was wrong. I began to beat myself up, what was wrong with me? All I wanted was epsom salt soak and good cry they didn't seem phased at all. I exercise and do yoga practically daily, they do nothing of the sort, how was I so much weaker?

Another peacock sang in the distance. My mind stopped and I realized the continuous patterns I was going to have to work on if I was truly going to achieve inner peace. The comparisons, the self judgement, the belief that I or my life was anything but divine. It was all going to have to end and it was going to take courage and constant attention to my thoughts to get there.

I changed my focus I realized these women in general have a strength I admire. There isn't time to waste in self pity or wallowing when as task is at hand, just get it done! I was honoured remember they are a reflection of me. My heart smiled and I noticed a woman trot by with her mala bag and I regretted the decision to not bring mine, I chose to not bring it fearing my family would think I looked to much like a "foreigner devotee" but as the peacock continued his song I reminded myself that I am a foreigner. Yes I wear the clothes, speak the language (sort of) I even have the name but I'm still a Canadian girl, One they all accepted open heartedly, one they all respect for all that I have done to be part of their culture, but never, ever did they ask me to stop being me, that I did to myself..

And my darknight of the soul began to lift...

State of my dusty feet when I returned home

One of four blisters

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

In Love and Light Beautiful Souls ~

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What I love about India...13 Shopping

I still have a couple more things I want to share in this series on "What I love about living in India" and next on my list are the

Indian Bazaar's (markets)

I love that India is one of the last places where consumerism, brand madness and corporate control doesn't rule the day.



In my town there are no american chain stores and no fast food restaurants. It was quite shocking to me on a recent road trip to Delhi when we stopped in a mall and everywhere were American brand name shops, while the air conditioning was a nice treat and for a moment it was fun to recognize the familiar brands but after an hour I was done. The novelty had worn off, I craved my little market stalls, where outrageous prices on factory produced cooker cutter items wasn't the norm.



When you see a sari, or top, or pair of jeans in our local market that you like best to purchase because the chances of finding it again are slim to none. There are not usually ten pieces of the same item, you may find the same top but the colour and design will vary.

Purchasing a sari is an experience within itself, when you enter to the shop it's customary to take a seat on the floor and give a brief idea of what you are looking for; fancy, simple, price range, etc... and then the shop keepers begin pulling out items until you find just the right one!




Don't forget to barter, although many shops nowadays have a "fixed rate" sign hanging somewhere in the store, this is rarely the case, almost always you can find a bit of a discount, especially if you are purchasing a number of items.

Not only can you find great quality items at a fraction of the cost you get to enjoy the rich ambiance that is Indian culture.

Shopping in India is so much fun I've actually turned it into a bit of a job, purchasing treasures and trinkets from Mom and Pop shops and selling them back in Canada, I call it Balanced Soul Clothing and Accessories I feel it is a much needed answer to corporate consumerism that is plaguing the west and helps to support the local economy in the town I call home,

Do you have any funny stories about shopping abroad to share? I'd love to hear them and feature them next week when I tell you about one of my most hilarious shopping excursions...

What I love about life in India...12 rickshaws

Next on my list of "What I love about life in India" is

Rickshaws

Here in our town we have three varieties to choose from:

My personal favorite is the cycle rickshaw, any season these are available and a very inexpensive way to get from point A to point B. Because our town is quite small you can get just about anywhere fairly quickly for about fifty rupees which is approximately one dollar in North America.

I have a few I always choose to go with, they are the guys that are strong and have never tried to rip me off, When they see me coming there is a race to get to me first, it's an ongoing joke among them.

What I love most about cycle rickshaws is that you can get around easily and still check out the sights along the way!

The next type of rickshaw is a tuk tuk or in this area it is knows as an "auto"

Although much faster they do tend to be double the price and I find the drivers often rude, they have always attempted to charge me more than double the going rate despite my Indian garb and Hindi capabilities and on top of that they often take on more passengers stuffing as many people into the ride as possible, which in India is about ten more than there are actual seats for. I rarely utilize there services to be honest.

The last form of rickshaw just became available in our area this year; the electric rickshaws are much better for the environment than the traditional tuk tuk and the price tends to rival the cycle rickshaw, the only downside is the lack of shocks to help absorb our bumpy road conditions.

Maneuvering our streets can be difficult by car but all three of these can get down our narrow ally ways and vehicles are technically restricted from our marketplace but cycle and electric rickshaws are are allowed and even the autos find their way in, which makes them all super convenient.

Living here I often find it easier to hail a rickshaw then worry about traffic or parking, all forms are always around which takes the stress out of getting anywhere, plus it adds to the Indian experience!

Still more to come in this series be sure to check back next weekend!

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A list of things I love about life in India...11 Chai

Next on my list is...

Chai


Chai translates to tea, but in India its not just a drink it's an experience.

Now let me back a track a little about me; I have never been a coffee drinker or tea drinker. Many North Americans can't start their day without caffine but it never appealed to me. I like the aroma and the taste and have indulged occasionally in one of the designer cups of coffee trying expresso in high school to fit in with the now crowd, sitting in the popular chains writing and fueling myself with one of their flavoured coffees and while I like them I didn't long for them and never wanted to it to become a habitual.

I have also and still do enjoy a cup of Green tea or any number of herbal teas but none have ever been a daily occurance.

When I first traveled to India I didn't indulge in the sweet fluid called chai, I had adopted a sattvic diet shortly after arriving and when my friend and I began touring around meeting locals she would secretly exchange her empty glass for my full one and finish it for me so I wouldn't look rude to our Indian hosts. In fact one day she ended up drinking about twelve cups of chai and was a bit strung out by the time we returned to our ashram! But that's what dear friends do for each other.

*refusing chai can be considered an insult to the Indian host


When I moved to India my husband insisted I drink chai stating its importance; many Indians feel it's a life sustaining fluid that should be drank a minimum of two times a day, one cup in the morning and one late afternoon and it is the cultural norm to fed it to children and babies alike. 

I resisted at first but when I made the move to India I also made a promise to myself that I would be up to fully adapting to Indian culture, well at least trying it on and what felt right I would keep, the rest would be discarded but that is a whole other series!

I fell in love with our morning ritual of quietly sipping the sugary yet spicy liquid, some days it would be served as "bed tea" other days we'd sit on the rooftop and shortly after moving into our families joint home preparing morning chai for my husband and in laws became my first official duty. To this day five years later I still wake before my family and prepare chai not because it is a "duty" anymore but because I love to do it. It's a special time for family and friends to come together and connect, words don't even have to be spoken.

Here in India chai flavor tends to be a little more simple than in the west. Our family recipe is simple we bring a bit of water to a boil, add loose tea, then add fresh crushed ginger, after this to has boiled we add sugar then milk, After the milk has been added a total of three boils should take place to prepare the perfect cup of chai.

We do vary it up from time to time for instance in the winter we add fresh cracked black pepper to bring some warmth to the body, throughout the year it is not uncommon to add a couple pieces of crushed cardamom (this is also great if you have an upset stomach) but my favorite is in the summer months when we pick fresh Tulsi leaves from our courtyard, Tulsi is renowned for its healing property and adds a light earthy taste and is great with or in place of the ginger.

Chai is a constant presence in India and stalls line the streets of our town and while I love home chai when we journey to a stall the wallahs are always excited to have us there and it adds another element to the chai experience!

Be sure to check back next weekend for more of "What I love about life in India"

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A list of things I love about life in India...10 Holi

There is so much more going in and around my world that I need to voice so much so that I've actually developed a bit block in my throat chakra!

So I have decided since there is still a lot that I love about India and want to share with you I'm going to continue with this series but I'll only post the series once a week, the intention is the weekend so if you've been following make sure you stop by on Saturday or Sunday each week.

I will also try to get a post in mid week about some of the things that are transpiring in my world but for now the series

Number ten on the list is...

Holi

The "Festival of Colour" or better known in India as the "Festival of Love" now I could generalize and talk about all of the  Festivals, and it's true I love many but Holi by far, is my favorite and something I look forward to every single year!

This picture here on the right is from my very first Holi celebrations five years ago where I played with children in a charity school.





Our auspicious town is quite special this time of year since one of the stories surrounding the origin of Holi explains that Krishna who was darker in colour decided to paint the fair skin of his beloved Radha. He did so in such a loving and joyful manner that everyone wanted to join in on the fun.



So thousands of people flock to our town to partake in the festivities; the crowds walk the streets and attend temples where colour is thrown with wreckless abandon.

It can reach a feverish tone and I for one tend to avoid the crowds now and just play with my family and children in our home and neighborhood. The kids love throwing colour on passerby's and the giggles and shouts of "Holi Hai" can be heard all over.

No one is safe; if you leave your house there will be colour thrown on you, my in laws turn into children on this day and to watch them laugh and enjoy themselves so much makes my heart swell with love.

 My kids are at such fun ages for this festival and were real troopers outlasting some of their older siblings!

Have you celebrated Holi? If so please share with me your experience and if you've never had an opportunity consider joining us here in India next year for this celebration at our Guesthouse!

A list of things I love about life in India...9 Temples

Number 9 on my list of  things I love about Life in India is...

Temples

There is something magical about the temples of India. For me they have become sanctuaries. I honestly believe to cultivate a relationship with higher self, God, source, the universe whatever you want to call it you do not need anything but the stillness of your mind and the whispers of your heart. But the energy around you can either support or thwart your spiritual growth. Where I live in India there are over 5000 ancient temples and many new modern ones. Many of these structures have become sanctuaries for me. A place of refuge, a space where I can absorb some pretty beautiful positive vibes and enjoy the peaceful, or intense bhakti energy, depending on my mood determines the temple I visit at any given time.

When I want entertainment, fun and tasty cake I visit ISKCON; the Hare Krishna temple as we would refer to it in North America, here in my town it is called the "Angrez Mandir" which literally translates to the "foreigner temple." Most locals don't attend this temple but it was one of my first experiences with deity worship and someday I'll share the story but I feel I have a bond there, plus its often the only time I see other white people!



I'll admit to my Christian friends I sometimes feel like Jesus did in Matthew 21:12 "And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple and overturned the tables of the money changers and seats of those who were selling doves. And he said to the them "It is written, MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER"; but you are making it a ROBBERS DEN." when I enter this temple sometimes I'm saddened and disgusted how God is for sale but then it's not my place to judge if I want to live true to ancient texts. So instead I view it for what it is to me; a place of connection, a bhakti high and a source of entertainment all in the name of divine love.

Here is a video clip from the Kirtan that takes place daily;

Then there are the quiet out of the way temples that many outsiders don't even hear about, ones that feel so ancient and are picturesque to me of what India looks like. Your soul can't help but be transported to a deeper more knowing place of love and connection.

I always find in these lesser known temples there is a sense of history,I can feel the energy that existed long before I did. I often feel like I'm transported back in time, it brings out the spiritual adventurer in me.

I've been privileged being married to a local, some of these temples are tucked away and one may not even realize it's a place of worship. I feel blessed to be exposed to their beauty and gifted with their energy.

And I know this will sound a little strange but when the deity connects with me, through eye contact, a wink or even a smile, words whisper from my heart and I know I'm on the right path. Many of these powerful beacons call to my heart and I can't get them out of my head until I visit, whenever I heed the call and find my way to them I'm usually gifted with a new insight into my world, my life and my true nature.




"You may pray for an hour and still not pray. You may meet God for a moment and then be in touch with him all day." ~ Fredrik Wisloff

"In worship an increased power steals its way into your heart, an increased compassion grows in the soul. To worship is to change." ~ Richard J Foster

I lead a number of retreats yearly in our Holy Area exploring the off the beat temples and sacred areas most travel guides don't even mention, if you'd like more information make sure to "like" and "follow" Balanced Soul on facebook or email 1balancedsoul@gmail.com


There is still more to come in this series be sure to check back regularly...

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A list of things I love about Life in India...8 sunsets

Number 8 on my list of what I love about living in India is...

The Indian Sunset

I admit I love a sunset anywhere and have been privileged to witness some of the most famous sunsets in the world, think Hawaii or the Hiking the Inca Trail in the Andes and I'm always grateful for the beauty, night after night after night, the Indian sunset rarely disappoints!

"It's almost impossible to watch a sunset and not dream" ~ Bern Williams







Whenever I take the time to watch the red sun fall sleepily into the earth there is an extra sense of peace that transpires, I always invite the guests of our Spiritual Guesthouse in Vrindavan to join me in the garden or on our rooftop for the meditative experience.









"Never waste any amount of time doing anything important when there is a sunset outside that you should be sitting under" ~ C.JoyBell. C













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A list of things I love about living in India...6 ~ Suits and Sari's

Next in my series on what I love about living in India is...

Suits and Sari's

The simplicity and elegance of the sari and comfort and ease of the suit take the stress out of fashion for me. Years in and I'm really just coming into my own sense of style. When I made the decision to marry a traditional Indian boy I also agreed to go all in, which meant covering myself in non sexy Indian garb. My husband is of the old school thought that my body should only been adored by him and like many men in his culture the thought of another man coveting his wife is not something he can take in stride. 


After marriage I was to wear only sari's for the first few weeks, my mother in laws rules. I got off easy my oldest Sister in Law had to wear a sari every day for one year! But hubby said enough was enough and while in the home I could convert to wearing suits and only during outings for the first six  months I was to wear a sari. Part of me resisted of course, no Canadian girl is going to like being told what I can and cannot wear but then I realized I loved this man, and it didn't matter what I had on, heck it's not like he was asking me to wear a burqa and truth be told I love him enough that I would! Once I surrendered it was actually nice, I always feel so feminine wrapped in this beautiful timeless fabric.

My husband admitted the first time he saw me in a sari he wanted to marry me on the spot. I can say the same, when I saw him in a traditional India suit for the first time, my heart skipped a beat, it was like looking at eternal love itself.













Suits can be ready made or purchased as material pieces then sewn together by a tailor to your specifications. My tastes and requirements have changed over the years. There are fancy party suits which I have yet to purchase, I still opt for a sari when we are heading out to any special functions but for everyday suits it can feel like you are sitting around in your pajama's all day, and that can make any girl, especially a Mom chasing two toddlers quite happy!

Stay tuned for the next installment in my series "What I love about living in India"

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A list of things I love about living in India...4 ~ Yoga

Next in my series on what I love about India is

Yoga

I was called to yoga long before it was mainstream but fell away from it not being able to find a teacher I connected with. Decades later I met this friend who was a yoga teacher. Her energy was contagious and I adored spending time with her, one day when we were discussing me taking up a practice again she told me "you are yoga." I had no idea what she meant but I knew it was something I was eager to discover.

My first trip to India was for three months, the first month was to be spent at an ashram for a yoga retreat. I bragged to all my friends at home about the kind of shape I was going to be in when I returned. I day dreamed about cool postures I had seen in pictures and wondered how long it would take before I would be able to touch my toes, nose to knees. We got on our mats one day. Yup you read that right, we did Asana which is the physical postures one time. Turned out yoga was a lot more then what I was a aware of.



I spent far more time quieting the voices in my head through meditation which I also learnt was not about not thinking, it was more about becoming aware of the thoughts, and choosing the thoughts consciously you want to spend time with.


It was not easy! My mind whirled and I realized how much I obsessed and over thought almost everything;  I thought about the past and the future, I thought up great status updates for social media or had songs on repeat in my head. When I gained a bit of control over that I had work to do around fear. Fear of never really being able to live before life is over and when I came to terms with this I discovered some shocking truths about the life I was living and changes that needed to occur if I wanted to truly be happy. It felt like someone shut the AC off one day when my head went quiet. Often in our lives their is background noise or chatter that we are not even aware of until it goes silent. I remember it rained that day and I felt an overwhelming urge that I acted on and danced in the courtyard of the ashram, I felt cleansed inside and out.

Aside from the physical asana or Hatha practice and the mental aspect we know as meditation or in yoga it is referred to as Raja yoga, true yogis observe diet restrictions which I to began observing. No caffeine, no alcohol or any mind altering substance, no garlic, onions or red chillies as these increase fire in the body which can lead to anger and jealousy.

That's the thing to, here in India very few people would ever call themselves a Yogi or Yoginni those titles are revered and used only in the utmost respect of true masters. I have met incredible yoga teachers here who only refer to themselves as a friend not a teacher for feeling unqualified despite surpassing any conditions we apply in the west for a 'qualified' yoga teacher.

And while Hatha and Raja are pretty well understood in the west little is discussed about the other relams: Kriya Yoga has everything to do with our breath, different breathing techniques and learning about our prana (life force) and where it is flowing. Gyan or (Jnana) is about knowledge, it is learning the ancient texts and utilizing them in daily life. According to the Bhagavad Gita Karma yoga is the most effective way to achieve spiritual oneness, understanding our karmic bonds and working through them. Doing our part to serve our neighbors and the earth without needing anything in return is the truest form of selfless love. And then their is Bhakti yoga which my little holy town is famous for, this is the yoga of devotion, of divine love. It is the recognition that there is only love, and everything around us and within us is of divine nature.

In India it is understood that all forms of yoga need to addressed and assimilated into daily life to truly achieve that which we are searching for...the point of yoga is to connect us back to us. To that divine part of ourselves we have forgotten, to the authentic part of ourselves we have muted. And although I often miss my yoga classes back in the west I am grateful to be among people who understand the depth and enjoyment of this path.

Here is a funny video a girlfriend sent me I want to share with you, fortunately the beautiful classes I have attended in the west do not reflect this teacher but there is some truth here, Enjoy and stay tuned for number five in What I love about India

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A list of things I love about living in India...3 ~ Animals

Next on the list is Animals!

I wrote about the animal world here in my small town years ago you can find the post by clicking here.

Things haven't changed much since that post, I still love to watch the animals in my neighborhood and today I'll share some photos of my favorite critters;

The image of a cow is synonymous with India largely impart because it is one of the only places in the world cows roam the streets. This white one here on the left comes to our spiritual guesthouse daily for food.

The cow is considered Holy in India because we go from our Mothers milk to the cows milk, Hindus therefore accept that she is a version of Goddess (male cows work the fields traditionally like a father so he too is to be treated with the utmost respect).





This brown one here pictured on the right comes to our joint family home each day waiting for scraps. I asked once about the 'turbans' some cows adorn and was informed one type of cloth is put on in the winter to help keep them warm and a lighter cloth is tied on in the summer to keep them cool.

We also have a this little dog who was born last year, is the cutest little street dog, beyond smart and filled with so much love. We named him Precious because of his incredible nature and make a point to keep his favorite biscuits in stock at all times.













I love when friends come to visit and comment on how healthy the animals look here verses other parts of India. I don't know if its because we still have that small town vibe or if its the fact that we are a Holy town and within that comes the acknowledgement that God is always present and can show up in any form. Either way it always warms my heart when I look up my street and see people feeding and sometimes even clothing the animals.

Goats seem particularly susceptible to the colder days we are experiencing in this season and almost all have shirts on, I can't help but smile every time I see one, the one here in the pink on the left looks like he showing off his new duds!

Camels walking up the street still excite my kids and me too to be honest, they just have such a swagger about them. Many of streets are so small cars and trucks can't drive on them so a lot of work is done still using Camels, Bulls and even Water Buffalo.

Then of course there are the pigs which I personally find adorable although many Indians just find them dirty. There are occasional snakes, rabbits and cats. Plus the squirrels which remind me of something from the movie "Ice Age" are everywhere in our courtyard.

The birds may be my absolute favorite from the majestic beauty of the peacocks to the songs of the parrots I could literally spend hours in memorized by their beauty.














Now one can't talk about animals in our town without mentioning the monkey mafia!

The rhesus monkeys are notorious in our corner of the world, sunglasses, bags, nothing is off limits for these thieves, and while I've had my share of fights with them something changed for me this year. I began to understand their desperation, their habitat is being destroyed rapidly and the only reason they are pesky is in their 'hunt' for food,

They are hungry and I'm sure would much rather be picking the lush trees that not to long ago made up this part of India. Now they are living in a concrete jungle competing with the growing population for survival,

I don't intend on adopting one any time soon and will support projects that are helping to control their population in a humane way, but I have to admit, they are growing on me, and sometimes can be pretty darn cute, but don't ever tell them I said so!
















Still lots more to come in my "What I love about India" series, don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a post!

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