Can my truth hurt others?

After last week’s blog about conditioned responses I received a comment “Genuine with a touch of common sense so as not to hurt others with the truth” this sparked an interesting internal dialogue for me. How can my truth hurt others?

I thought about the differences in the two cultures I’ve been living in. Canadians are very concerned about hurting one another’s feelings, on a profound level this can often lead many people to denying their own truth in an effort to shield those they love. They don’t realize the damage they are doing to themselves and to those they are trying to ‘protect.’ But that’s a whole other blog.

I never fully comprehended how sensitive I was until I moved to India. Here there is a frankness amongst the people back in Canada we would describe as ‘brutally honest’. I joke with my girlfriends back home, if you think your butt looks big in your jeans then don’t ask an Indian boy cause he’ll tell you it does if indeed it does (and truthfully, you already know the answer.) I have not come across anyone who offers “white lies” here, there is no ‘sugarcoating’ or as Indians call it no ‘oiling’ the truth. They don’t worry about what others reactions might be they just tell it like it is in their opinion. Many times I felt tears welling up based on something my partner or family commented on. I felt like I was being picked on but as my heart grows stronger I realize that each time I take offence to what has been said to me, it’s an ego reaction and a beautiful chance for continued spiritual growth. Living in the India with this new version of truthfulness I’ve really had to walk the walk when it comes to one of my favorite quotes; “You can’t control other people’s actions only your reactions to them.”

I wondered if it is actually hurting us to tiptoe around our truth in Canada under the guise of politeness. If being raised to be polite we are somehow weakening our ability to hear the truth without ego getting in the way. It leaves us unsure of whom we really are without the approval, acceptance and acknowledgment from others. After days of contemplative meditation I believe it all stems from a lack of knowing our soul, the disconnection we have from God-self, the most authentic part of ourselves. Once we tap into that and begin the healing process of reconnecting back to our most authentic self there is nothing anyone can do or say that can truly hurt us. Our heart and soul can never really be hurt by anyone else’s truth only our egos perception of it. Our truth is ours to live freely and joyously. We can all live in harmony by accepting we are all different and each version, of each individual’s truth, is right for them and more importantly not ours to take offense from.