People who love drama don't give up easy, they don't like to go away without a fight and often will do what they can to create it, turns out this is just as much me as anyone else I've been trying to blame.
Some of us are just dramatic people and little things can be made into big things. But see I'm as paradoxical as the country of India I presently call home. More often than not the big things that the masses would stress about seem to leave me tension free, i.e. loosing a job, death of a loved one, these things are life to me and I'm able to concentrate on the adventure that can come about when nothing is sure or live in the sweet memories of a departed loved one instead of questioning why.
Even more interestingly is how negative I can be at times yet I'm consistently optimistic.
What I have discovered during this challenge over the last thirty days is a deeper sense of self, I have come to terms with my negative tendencies and am now conscious of this victim mentality I have adopted that unfortunately flows through the rivers of womanhood here in India. But in true paradoxical form its also where Goddess is re-emerging, where I have also encountered some of the strongest women I know. Where the simple act of motherhood and being a doting wife is revered among sisters and society. Its a step back in time and into the future with the same footing.
I realized I may have pushed my sense of self downward a little while trying to conform to an idea of what I am supposed to be like while living in traditional Indian culture. Part of me had been missing but I understand it has all been a choice and feelings of resentment towards this way of life that one day can feel like a gift and another feel like a prison have to be resolved. When you make a choice you must be willing to live with the consequences or simply make another choice and the truth is when I'm connected to my authentic truth, when I'm Reposing or on my Yoga mat my heart is singing with the gifts that are around me, with this beautiful world I have created.
During this challenge some the darkest parts of me came forward for cleansing and I'd like to say now I'm perfectly peaceful but that is not the case. I am however aware of my tendencies to get overwhelmed when I don't take a minute to center (or seven in Repose), how irritable I get when I don't eat well or drink enough water. How it is okay to ask for help and it's also okay if I don't get it in the form I had envisioned.
There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path
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