A list of things I love about living in India...5 ~ Co-sleeping

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Co-sleeping

I love that it is the cultural norm. I can remember decades ago one of my Canadian family members opting to co-sleep and the judgment that was passed based purely on ignorance, I now think I understand what they were trying to accomplish!

My daughter was born in India and they just put her in the bed beside me, there was no other bed brought in for her. It was accepted and expected that she would sleep beside me. My son who was born prematurely in Canada was given his own bed when he was finally released to my room. And although from day one I was encouraged by the doctors and nurses to cuddle and even nap while seated together they were not impressed by my choice to co-sleep.

There is still much debate and I've heard it all and of course the biggest concern is suffocation when a parent rolls over onto the child, but nowhere in my research have I ever encountered a mother or father doing this, unless of course there were drugs or intoxicants involved. SIDS is another factor but interestingly India has one of the lowest numbers of SIDS internationally according to the world health organization.

Some articles claim it breeds dependence and narcissistic tendencies which may or may not have merit. I can admit that the members of my Indian family do not seem as independent as the members of my Canadian clan but India culturally is different that way. Sons do not often move out of the home and when they marry their wives move into the family unit to help take care of the elder members. Daughters marry and move in with their spouses.

I read in a book once and for the life of me cannot recall the name of it about the stages of development in chakras there are also many sites here on the internet that discuss it as well but basically the first seven years of a persons life involve the development of the root chakra which is our base. Our security. In the ancient text that I read it explained the importance of keeping our infants close so they know they are always safe. Many of the imbalances we have in the west are attributed to an imbalance in this chakra. While Indians, although not without their own issues, are among some of the most grounded people I have encountered. It is one of the comments I get regularly about my children when we are back in Canada "your children are so grounded."

I don't know if it's right or wrong but what I do know is I love having my babies next to me, I love listening to them breath and hearing them giggle in their sleep, I love being able to watch them and the random snuggles. It feels right for me and being instantly available for them if they need me for any reason throughout the night is a gift I can offer in hopes it will make them into the secure little beings I am trying to raise.

Another post is on it's way in this series so stay tuned!

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The inner peace you seek is the balance

When I first talked about being out of balance a friend commented saying she didn’t believe balance could be obtained there would always be something to knock you off balance and the key was to be at peace in whatever was happening, her words were a reminder from one of my last temple visits in India, the deity held me in an eye dance as he whispered in my heart “the inner peace you seek is the balance.”

So I’ve been doing what I can daily to remind myself to be present, to be okay with where I am and whatever transforms for the day which isn’t always easy; I catch myself wanting something else, craving some type of adventure or longing for more, even though, if I’m being honest I don’t even know what any of that truly means. The last couple of days I have felt heavy, I’ve cried a lot, refused to change out of my night dress, heck I think I even forgot to brush my teeth yesterday, classic symptoms of depression or in my case maybe pregnancy blues. That’s right friends for those who haven’t heard baby number two is on its way and although I am in my second trimester and physically I have been feeling fabulous emotionally I’m up and down like a yoyo but deep down I know it’s more than the pregnancy.

I sat yesterday and meditated I came to some deep truth aches, two years ago I left a very comfortable life, at least from a materialistic point of view. I left because I wanted more passion, more simplicity and more adventure yet it doesn’t feel like I’ve fully accomplished this. I still feel as if something is missing there is a longing that still hasn’t been quenched yet and I can’t quite get a read what needs to be done.

After my meditation I broke down, for all that I still wish for, for all that I left behind, for the fear that still exists in my heart, for the self-loathing that continues to peer its ugly face when my ego is toxic, for missing my Husband profoundly and feeling guilty because I’m scared to go back to India until certain changes transpire, I cried because I want space, I cried because I felt I needed to, I cried because I allowed myself to release.

The haze lifted only when my beloved called repeatedly to check in on me and help me crack a smile or when my baby boy put on his comedy act. By early evening I was spent, my son and I still co-sleep so I decided to go to bed early with him praying for a good night sleep. My brain and body were drained yet sleep was eluding me I felt restless and thought about being in my husband’s arms and the comfort I believed it would bring. As I stifled a sob that threatened to consume me my son rolled across the bed, my back was to him and all of a sudden his little arms were cradling me, as he spooned me my heart broke open wider than I ever dreamed possible and I accepted everything to be as it is, or as I’ve said before it would be different.

This little angel was here to remind me that everything I long for is here in front of me. The simplicity in my life became apparent, being able to live a life where I have nothing that needs to be accomplished accept to enjoy my family, God it doesn’t get much simpler, I am so blessed. When it comes to adventure; I live between two of the most beautiful countries in the world, my husband like me loves to live spontaneously once I took a breath I realized my life is adventure. Being married to my soul mate offers unlimited passion both good and bad but that’s a whole other blog. Passion is all around me as long as I remain present and when I focus on the truths I want in my world and stay open to all the love that is around me I really have it all. 

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Finding balance in the unbalance

I’ve been finding my balance since my last blog I’ve managed to meditate a few days and I’m doing my best to take advantage of whatever pocket of time is gifted to me each day to catch my breath. I even got on my yoga mat one day and wasn’t surprised by the restrictions I felt in my body, I’ve been holding onto a lot and refusing to surrender to what is, even though I know better! Now I’m praying for more time to work through these restrictions.

So in an effort to find more balance this morning I treated myself to a chick flick. While my son played beside me I watched the movie “Eat Pray Love.” It was over five years ago when I read the book and was inspired to travel to an ashram in India. I found myself remembering that time in my life. I was so lost before I left and longing for more, more adventure, more zest, more energy, I wasn’t even sure what it was I was longing for but I couldn’t ignore it any longer so I hopped on a plane by myself and headed to a land that had repeatedly called my soul. So much happened but you’ll have to wait for my book for those details, the reason I’m even mentioning it today is because I found myself crying watching the movie remembering the balance I had found during that trip. I questioned how I had once again become so far removed from authentic self. I began slipping into a pit of disappear as the unhealthy part of my ego began a victory dance but just as I was about to succumb to the pain and self-loathing the universe reminded me of something powerful delivered by this line in the movie; “God dwells in us, as us.” I was instantly still, peace filled my veins, and instead of thinking about how much balance I had lost since returning I remembered how far I had truly come. I looked at how my life has changed and the consciousness that surrounds most of my thoughts and actions. A lot of change has transpired in my life in a very short time and although each action was a conscious decision somehow the outcomes (the now) seemed completely out of my control. I began to relax and breathe a little deeper, there is more change coming I’m being prompted daily and it’s time to give up wanting perfect control and recognize once and for all God in every minute of every day, no matter what they look like. The key is to pay attention to the prompts and follow your intuition about all decisions. I’ve been doing this so why was I still resisting what is?

I felt God’s presence around me and in me, “God dwells in us, as us” I said aloud. I felt a lightness flow into my being, love swirled around the room, my energy seemed to shift as I remembered the divine flowing through me, this earth experience ends in the blink of an eye, I want to be in it, all of it. I looked at my baby boy his big black eyes smiled up at me, his arms reached out to me and I picked him up, hugging heart to heart he began babbling sweet gibberish in my ear, and I understood this is where my balance rests, being in my day, accomplishing whatever I can whenever I can and knowing it all is happening exactly as it should or it would be happening differently. I was a mother now which means there is a little less time for “alone (or me) time” but the reward of having this little being in my life was worth being a little out of balance. 

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