I’ve been
finding my balance since my last blog I’ve managed to meditate a few days and I’m
doing my best to take advantage of whatever pocket of time is gifted to me each
day to catch my breath. I even got on my yoga mat one day and wasn’t surprised
by the restrictions I felt in my body, I’ve been holding onto a lot and
refusing to surrender to what is, even though I know better! Now I’m praying
for more time to work through these restrictions.
So in an
effort to find more balance this morning I treated myself to a chick flick. While
my son played beside me I watched the movie “Eat Pray Love.” It was over five
years ago when I read the book and was inspired to travel to an ashram in
India. I found myself remembering that time in my life. I was so lost before I
left and longing for more, more adventure, more zest, more energy, I wasn’t
even sure what it was I was longing for but I couldn’t ignore it any longer so
I hopped on a plane by myself and headed to a land that had repeatedly called
my soul. So much happened but you’ll have to wait for my book for those
details, the reason I’m even mentioning it today is because I found myself
crying watching the movie remembering the balance I had found during that trip.
I questioned how I had once again become so far removed from authentic self. I began
slipping into a pit of disappear as the unhealthy part of my ego began a
victory dance but just as I was about to succumb to the pain and self-loathing
the universe reminded me of something powerful delivered by this line in the
movie; “God dwells in us, as us.” I was instantly still, peace filled my veins,
and instead of thinking about how much balance I had lost since returning I
remembered how far I had truly come. I looked at how my life has changed and
the consciousness that surrounds most of my thoughts and actions. A lot of
change has transpired in my life in a very short time and although each action
was a conscious decision somehow the outcomes (the now) seemed completely out
of my control. I began to relax and breathe a little deeper, there is more
change coming I’m being prompted daily and it’s time to give up wanting perfect
control and recognize once and for all God in every minute of every day, no
matter what they look like. The key is to pay attention to the prompts and
follow your intuition about all decisions. I’ve been doing this so why was I
still resisting what is?
I felt God’s
presence around me and in me, “God dwells in us, as us” I said aloud. I felt a
lightness flow into my being, love swirled around the room, my energy seemed to
shift as I remembered the divine flowing through me, this earth experience ends
in the blink of an eye, I want to be in it, all of it. I looked at my baby boy
his big black eyes smiled up at me, his arms reached out to me and I picked him
up, hugging heart to heart he began babbling sweet gibberish in my ear, and I
understood this is where my balance rests, being in my day, accomplishing
whatever I can whenever I can and knowing it all is happening exactly as it
should or it would be happening differently. I was a mother now which means
there is a little less time for “alone (or me) time” but the reward of having
this little being in my life was worth being a little out of balance.
As an aspiring writer I appreciate your continued support
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