A Hindu fast brought me to a new place of being...

Karva Chauth was yesterday it is a fast observed by married Hindu women for the well being and longevity of their husbands.

Firstly I don't believe in any God that looks upon people as good or bad, deserving or undeserving, I believe we are born with one gift bestowed upon us from the creator and that is free will. There is some karma that comes into play, circumstances of life etc... but the reality we live in is our own manifestation. Our thoughts create this world. Simple. Conditioning and cultural beliefs continue to limit or empower us and dissolving patterns that no longer serve and taking control of ones thoughts is work, something I've been working on for over a decade now and it's still a work in progress. I'm telling you my beliefs because I could not approach this fast the same way my Hindu born sister in laws and mother in law did.

All of my western friends and family ask "well when do the men fast for the women?" The answer is "they don't" at first four years ago when I heard of this fast this was my response. I was angry that it always falls to the women to ensure health and prosperity for their husbands but time has changed my viewpoint.

I couldn't observe the fast back then, I had just given birth to our son who arrived two and half months premature. I was in Canada my Husband was frantically trying to get his visa to join us, I was overwhelmed, scared, but filled with all of the strength a mother can muster, I needed all my energy for our baby and my healing. my husband concurred.

The next year when the fast arrived I was pregnant with our second child and while many women still observe the fast while pregnant it was something I was not comfortable with especially with all that had happened in my first pregnancy, fortunately my husband and family in India felt the exact same way.

Last year I was in Canada visiting family with our two children. I decided to attempt it but I've admitted I cheated, sort of. The premise is that we fast from sunrise to moonrise, well the moon was visible by mid afternoon, so I did my little pooja and ate, I forgot the part aboutwe  watching my husbands face, but we still laugh at my attempt.

My husband questioned my ability to complete the strict fast that does not allow for even a single drop of water. I knew he wanted me to do it but would never pressure me, plus there is the whole cheating element, I mean I could always sneak a drink in my room when no one was looking, but why, what would be the point.

This time around I approached the fast as a challenge. I have climbed the Andes and jumped out of an airplane, there isn't anything I haven't accomplished that I truly wanted to.

I chose to observe this fast because it means a lot to my husband. I don't need him to fast for me in return. Just as I love him, not because he loves me but because I love for the beauty of loving.



It was a long morning without my usual liter of warm water and hot cup of chai but fortunately my kids were tired and took a three hour nap by lunchtime. I dozed on and off with them through the afternoon, at one point a saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life crawl across my ceiling, I jumped up and grabbed our broom but I knew if I started banging around trying get it out of my home I'd wake the kids so I settled back down. I knew it had to be a hallucination and then remembered all animals have a message for us; "The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy and creativity. Spiders are characterized by the skilled weaving of intricate webs and patience in awaiting their prey, Spiders remind us to tune into life's ebbs and flows and ingeniously weave every step of our destiny."







A little while later I was laying in a meditative, or comatose depending on how you look at it, state when a ray of purple light shot down through the ceiling into my head and coursed through my body. All of my training as a holistic healer knew my crown chakra had just opened.


The crown chakra is our connection to the divine, and our ability to be fully connected spiritually. I knew Goddess energy and just been awakened in my body, I felt different, empowered, beautiful and alive in my feminine energy.






My husband came home and took the children so I could help prepare the feast for our pooja (worship ceremony) and ourselves. I dressed in a beautiful red and gold sari and in true Chanda Mama (the moon) tradition she stayed hidden until hours after her normal arrival. Along with my mother in law and four sister in laws (and my Nanny Ji via Skype) we did pooja in the room that houses our home deity, making offerings of sweets, bread and curry and rice to the divine. Then each of us took turns doing a ritual to the moon and our respective husbands.

My husband then brought me to our room and fed me a glass of water, it was romantic and beautiful. We shared a delicious meal along with our children and look of love in his eyes is even stronger than it was the day we married...