I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be

Holi – the festival of colour was this past week and I agreed to stay at my partner’s family home so we didn’t have to travel back and forth through the colour filled chaos. In India most families live together throughout their lives. Wives move in with their husband’s families and my partner’s home is no exception. Both parents, four brothers, their wives and four children share the home. At first this sounded a little overwhelming to this Canadian chick who’s been living on her own since she was nineteen but we’ve been living at our temple/guesthouse and my partner is willing to continue to live outside of his home if it is too much for me to handle. Having already broken so many cultural rules to be with me, I figured the least I could do was explore this avenue. His family has accepted me with open hearts so I was eager to deepen my relationship with them and gain an understanding of daily life in a traditional home.

It’s not as crowded as you’d think; everyone shares a common courtyard (equipped with our very own cow that provides fresh milk daily.) The three oldest brothers live upstairs with their families, each in their own space; bachelor style apartments (room, kitchen and bathroom). Downstairs is the parent’s room, Papaji’s office, the youngest brother and his wife’s bedroom, there’s a living room, my partner’s room, a common kitchen and two bathrooms.

After one night I instantly understood the beauty of being surrounded by those you love. Waking up to serve morning chai with the youngest wife of the household, we giggled in the kitchen as she practiced her English and me my Hindi. Papiji singing songs of devotion as he went about his morning chores and the laughter of the children all filled my heart.

The differences amongst the women in our societies brought forth a valuable lesson. While they are content to remain inside the house each day, I found myself feeling a little shackwacky after two days and by the fourth day I was overwhelmed, in tears thinking about a future of confinement and housework. I wasn’t sure if these newly grown wings could handle being clipped so soon.  Working for years with spirit animals I noticed hornets buzzing for my attention. Three different rooms over three days I was confronted, they were communicating. The hornet represents the use of female warrior energy, sisterhood, understanding female societies and communal living. All of which I was surrounded by.

I sat with our homes deity to make an honest assessment of my emotions and soon realized I had become a prisoner of my own fear. Deep set patterning of “what if’s” instead of enjoying the love and simplicity that encompassed me. Staying present I’m allowing my heart to dream its future adventures without the fear of what “might” transpire from any given decision. I know if it feels right, the future will manifest in its most beautiful form...