I've been quiet for a couple of weeks and I apologize for that. I appreciate the outpouring of messages and I assure you all is fine I have just needed some space to allow the dust to settle from 2014. For me last year was intense, it was as if almost every life lesson I have claimed to understand was put to the test. I was forced to walk the walk not just talk the talk. Each time I waved the white flag surrendering, begging the universe to stop, insisting that I got it, another situation occurred showing me how much work I still needed to do. I was given brief moments of serenity to catch my breath but I was forced to put into practice all I claimed spiritually to have achieved. It was a practice what you preach kind of year.
On new years eve, staying true to my Yoga Challenge and the Bhakti portion I have embarked on I went to a Goddess Temple, It is a Kali Temple. I chose this temple because she is the Goddess of Endings and Beginnings; we must release the old to let the new in. I found it fitting for the last day of the year.
Kali Ma is known as The Dark Mother; she is a kick ass warrior who offers you empowerment. The particular deity of this temple similar to the one pictured has a story attached to it that Kali was in a fight with a demon overhead when the demon's sword cut her hair, the lock fell to earth on the land of this ancient temple and the deity was born of it. And although I have been to this particular temple in the past for some reason I never really saw the deity before, this time when her eyes met mine my whole body began to tremble, something was being awakened in me.
Right before bed I read this quote and it struck a chord as the clock struck midnight: "Tonight go to sleep as though your whole past has been dropped. Die to the past. And in the morning wake up as a new man in a new morning. DOn't let the same one who went to bed get up. Let him go to sleep for good. Let the one who is ever-new and ever-fresh wake instead" ~ Osho
On new years day I woke with a sense of excitement, I had written my good bye letter to 2014 as per my normal ritual for saying goodbye to a year. I thanked the year for its practice makes perfect lessons, for helping me to break down my walls of resistance and for keeping the abundance of health, wealth and love flowing in my life and for those around me. Then I set my intentions for 2015 which include: 365 days of Gratitude, meditating daily, having a belly laugh each day, playing more with my children, not begrudging my husband (or anyone for that matter) of his cultural conditioning, getting our Spiritual Guesthouse finished so you can finally come visit and many more.
My husband, children and I ventured out to the most auspicious temple in our home town, along with almost every other person who lives here and was visiting from outside, It was chaos which was not unexpected, we maneuvered the crowd finding our way into the back of the temple with our children in arms, had a quick darshan (prayer) during which the deity gave us a perfect view of him, I solidified my intentions for the year and asked that my lessons be gentle but firm, that my higher self have a stronger voice and I only be led to those who will continue to help me grow in a positive manner. Now I always warn those who visit Sri Banke Bihari Ji to be careful what you pray for because in my experience it will manifest
We left the temple and the crowd seemed to grow. We were walking through a narrow ally way and everyone began pushing. I elbowed and hipped as best I could to keep my very tight space; enough room to breathe for me and baby girl who was in my arms. Suddenly what little space I had seemed to disappear, the guy behind me pushed relentlessly, I walked out of my shoe leaving it behind there was nowhere to stop or turn. We were surrounded from every side, my husband and son were one person ahead of us and the relentless pushing was not allowing for another step forward or in any direction for that matter. My daughter was pressed up against me her breathing was becoming labored. I yelled at the people around me to back off but the guy behind me pushed harder, he actually pushed me where my daughter was in my arms trying to squeeze past me pressing her so tightly against me and passerbys she actually began fighting to get out of my arms. I panicked slightly crying out my Hubby's name, he yelled at the guy to step back but the guy immediately started mouthing off and continued pushing. My son seeing the fear in my eyes and hearing the argument between his Papa and this idiot began to cry, my hubby managed to get between me and guy allowing for a bit of breathing room,
I kept talking to my son telling him it was all okay as Hubby and this guy exchanged fighting words. I know my husbands power and pretty much everyone knows him in our town I knew it could turn ugly but I also could tell by hubby's demeanor he was not going to allow someone to hurt his wife and child then talk so rudely but because he had us with him and my son in his arms I didn't think he was going to smack this guy, but the guy just wouldn't shut up, Part of me wanted to see him get hit for being an idiot, his mouth kept flapping despite hubby and others in the crowd telling him to give it up.
Finally I had enough, I turned and yelled in Hindi for him to shut up, enough was enough,
Silence hushed over the entire crowd, see in India a women wouldn't usually raise her voice to man, especially in public but I had had enough, these were my beloveds he was upsetting, for no reason other than his own issues, whatever they may be. I stared into the guys eyes daring him to speak another word. After a moment he dropped his eyes, looked to my husband for a split second who simply gave him a look like "you've been told, final warning" He stayed quiet and we all continued walking. Everyone around us began greeting me on our traditional way and saying happy new year, helping to ease the tension, one police officer even offered me a small smile after the exchange.
Kali Ma I thought to myself as the crowd opened this is going to be an empowering year indeed...
Follow @1balancedsoul
On new years eve, staying true to my Yoga Challenge and the Bhakti portion I have embarked on I went to a Goddess Temple, It is a Kali Temple. I chose this temple because she is the Goddess of Endings and Beginnings; we must release the old to let the new in. I found it fitting for the last day of the year.Kali Ma is known as The Dark Mother; she is a kick ass warrior who offers you empowerment. The particular deity of this temple similar to the one pictured has a story attached to it that Kali was in a fight with a demon overhead when the demon's sword cut her hair, the lock fell to earth on the land of this ancient temple and the deity was born of it. And although I have been to this particular temple in the past for some reason I never really saw the deity before, this time when her eyes met mine my whole body began to tremble, something was being awakened in me.
Right before bed I read this quote and it struck a chord as the clock struck midnight: "Tonight go to sleep as though your whole past has been dropped. Die to the past. And in the morning wake up as a new man in a new morning. DOn't let the same one who went to bed get up. Let him go to sleep for good. Let the one who is ever-new and ever-fresh wake instead" ~ Osho
On new years day I woke with a sense of excitement, I had written my good bye letter to 2014 as per my normal ritual for saying goodbye to a year. I thanked the year for its practice makes perfect lessons, for helping me to break down my walls of resistance and for keeping the abundance of health, wealth and love flowing in my life and for those around me. Then I set my intentions for 2015 which include: 365 days of Gratitude, meditating daily, having a belly laugh each day, playing more with my children, not begrudging my husband (or anyone for that matter) of his cultural conditioning, getting our Spiritual Guesthouse finished so you can finally come visit and many more.
My husband, children and I ventured out to the most auspicious temple in our home town, along with almost every other person who lives here and was visiting from outside, It was chaos which was not unexpected, we maneuvered the crowd finding our way into the back of the temple with our children in arms, had a quick darshan (prayer) during which the deity gave us a perfect view of him, I solidified my intentions for the year and asked that my lessons be gentle but firm, that my higher self have a stronger voice and I only be led to those who will continue to help me grow in a positive manner. Now I always warn those who visit Sri Banke Bihari Ji to be careful what you pray for because in my experience it will manifest
We left the temple and the crowd seemed to grow. We were walking through a narrow ally way and everyone began pushing. I elbowed and hipped as best I could to keep my very tight space; enough room to breathe for me and baby girl who was in my arms. Suddenly what little space I had seemed to disappear, the guy behind me pushed relentlessly, I walked out of my shoe leaving it behind there was nowhere to stop or turn. We were surrounded from every side, my husband and son were one person ahead of us and the relentless pushing was not allowing for another step forward or in any direction for that matter. My daughter was pressed up against me her breathing was becoming labored. I yelled at the people around me to back off but the guy behind me pushed harder, he actually pushed me where my daughter was in my arms trying to squeeze past me pressing her so tightly against me and passerbys she actually began fighting to get out of my arms. I panicked slightly crying out my Hubby's name, he yelled at the guy to step back but the guy immediately started mouthing off and continued pushing. My son seeing the fear in my eyes and hearing the argument between his Papa and this idiot began to cry, my hubby managed to get between me and guy allowing for a bit of breathing room,
I kept talking to my son telling him it was all okay as Hubby and this guy exchanged fighting words. I know my husbands power and pretty much everyone knows him in our town I knew it could turn ugly but I also could tell by hubby's demeanor he was not going to allow someone to hurt his wife and child then talk so rudely but because he had us with him and my son in his arms I didn't think he was going to smack this guy, but the guy just wouldn't shut up, Part of me wanted to see him get hit for being an idiot, his mouth kept flapping despite hubby and others in the crowd telling him to give it up.
Finally I had enough, I turned and yelled in Hindi for him to shut up, enough was enough,
Silence hushed over the entire crowd, see in India a women wouldn't usually raise her voice to man, especially in public but I had had enough, these were my beloveds he was upsetting, for no reason other than his own issues, whatever they may be. I stared into the guys eyes daring him to speak another word. After a moment he dropped his eyes, looked to my husband for a split second who simply gave him a look like "you've been told, final warning" He stayed quiet and we all continued walking. Everyone around us began greeting me on our traditional way and saying happy new year, helping to ease the tension, one police officer even offered me a small smile after the exchange.
Kali Ma I thought to myself as the crowd opened this is going to be an empowering year indeed...
2 comments:
Good for you. Great blog!
Thanks!
Post a Comment