Love Love Love

Love Love Love

Friday, February 28, 2014

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"

You are always with yourself you you might as well enjoy the company...

As per February's resolution to cultivate more self love I'm not sure if I fully accomplished the task I set out to do but I am definitely more mindful of the negative self talk and more apt to shut it down before it gets out of hand. I still see flaws when I look at my reflection but more often I catch myself making eye contact with my soul, the twinkle of recognition takes only seconds now and more often then not this connection deters the wandering eye of judgement.

Self love for me is not only internal, although a large portion of it, but it is also taking pride in my physical body. Living in a traditional Indian town sexy isn't really a way of life. I've had to look for new ways to feel sexy because the clothing that helped the task along in the past is no longer an option, nor would I choose it. I, like you, am bombarded by images of what I've been programmed to believe is sexy, maybe even more so by Bollywood., scantly clad women with professional make up and groomers, it can leave me feeling inferior which I know it shouldn't but I'm being honest with you and even more importantly working through it. I've been making an effort to bring sexy back but in a grown sexy way (yes I just quoted someone from the Bachelor and yes I'm ashamed, lol) Grown sexy for me is a way of finding ways to be sexy as a Mom and as a wife of a man who has no desire to see me out in public it tight fitting clothes showing cleavage or bare legs. I have a girlfriend who is Muslim and I draw inspiration from her, she chooses to wear a burka although she lives in Canada and her husband doesn't demand it. She chooses this dress because according to her it makes her feel 'mysterious and incredibly sexy" she loves the fact that her husband is the only man who will ever know the true beauty of her body.

That being said I'm on a quest to be a little more yummy mommy and a little less frumpy mommy, so I'm shaving my legs more frequently, I even purchased some panties that aren't of the cotton brief variety after reading somewhere that 'you'll feel sexier if you feeeeel sexier underneath.' Don't get me wrong  I do understand that sexy and beautiful have more to do with your state of mind than anything material you can adorn but I have to admit I feel better when I look down at my hairless legs. Imagine the glow when I manage get out of my pajamas and style my hair :)

The reality is we live in a material world and I have decades of programming to work through. For now as long as their are mirrors around me the material aspect of my appearance will play a roll, albeit a small one. Taking pride in ones appearance is a balance and a good thing I think. I spend most days running around without makeup and my hair thrown back in a ponytail and I'm cool with that, I don't feel any less loving towards myself on those days but I've discovered taking care of my physical body is a part of loving myself.

A big part of cultivating self love has been looking at what I love so much in those around me. Laughter is beauty and not taking things, especially myself, so seriously. Kindness and a positive disposition is love manifested and there is nothing better than dancing for no reason at all. Moving forward will involve feeding myself the same loving kindness I afford my loved ones, being gentle with myself and indulging in even more things that make me feel  taken care of.

With March approaching I'm shifting my focus to work with a mantra of "aim higher!" I have my hands in a lot of pots and need to reorganize, let go, start up and finish. Are you spending your days at a job that brings you happiness? Is there another field you wish you were working in? Did you make your career choices based on your passions? Is there a whisper in your heart that you need to pursue?



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