Using pregnancy as a gateway for spiritual growth...

Spiritually it is miraculous to be growing a life inside me. There are times when I feel flutters and wonder if it’s my baby and I’ve been told it is quite possible to feel movement at this point if you go into the stillness. There are moments when my heart knows it’s my baby doing what doctors refer to as water ballet. When I eat something the baby enjoys I feel happiness outside of me but part of me, even some yoga postures bring a joy and I swear I can feel the baby’s delight.
The first three months of pregnancy weren’t so bad, although I did feel nausea I never actually vomited. I was extremely tired, emotional, and lost some weight but they say that is pretty normal. Now that I’m in what is known as the honeymoon trimester I have to admit I feel pretty amazing physically. Except the fact that I have insatiable hunger, I eat and feel full but within minutes I’m ravenous once again. Being from Canada I still miss the variety of foods available on any given day, but knowing that I am eating local and organic is not just good for my baby but also Mother earth.

The emotional turbulence has been unnerving, I was expecting to cry, I was not expecting such strong sensations of anger. Last week I was the horror movie version of myself, when I finally grounded back into my body I wasn’t even sure what words had come out of my mouth, I was vaguely aware of threats and by the look on my partners face he had just encountered a demon. I spent the better part of the next day in meditation, contemplating how to remain emotionally grounded amidst the tidalwave of hormones that are bound to intensify as time progresses.

I am proud of the fact that I am (for the most part) conscious of my thoughts, words and actions but during that instance I lost touch with not only reality but my own heart. In truth I do remember a pivotal moment just before I turned into a lunatic where I thought “cross your eyes and tell him he’s making you crazy” it would have lightened everything but I chose to ignore the prompt. There were a couple more prompts but they were like distant fog horns, warning of shallow water but my bearings were lost and I couldn’t make out their direction.

The conclusion I came to; this is a gift, not only for growing this precious little starseed but for evolving my own consciousness. My intention is to ride the emotion rollercoaster as it comes but to remain true to my inner voice, listening to the prompts of my heart and most importantly acting on them. I believe if I can remain present during the onslaught of hysteria pregnancy sometimes brings I can use it as a gateway for ascension.

"Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow." ~Rita Schiano

My ten year old nephew’s birthday party was this week. About twenty kids, a mix of boys and girls ranging in age from two to fifteen. There was the traditional cake with candles, everyone clapping and singing “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...” until the last person gave up, the song never did quite finish the way it would have in Canada. He blew out the candles on his pink cake and everyone handed him his gifts. In India you place the gift from your right hand into the right hand of the recipient, it is not customary for the presents (on any occasion) to be opened, they are sat off to the side.

There were no chips or pop, the usual standards of junk food strategically placed around the home were nowhere to be found but the smell coming from the kitchen was heavenly. The food was served after nine at night as the culmination of the party. Indians take great pride in their cooking and often refuse to serve anything that is not homemade; we ate until we were ready to burst.

The children happily spent the better part of the party dancing along to the latest Bollywood music videos. The boys along with girls seemed to know every lyric and accompanying dance move. It was beyond adorable to watch, the freedom and enjoyment these young boys take in expressing themselves is something I have loved about this culture from my very first visit.

I think because of this freedom it has been my experience that Indian men are very much in touch with their emotions, they dance when the mood strikes and even more beautiful they feel and express all their emotions. The majority have never been told to that it’s not okay to cry, allowing themselves to cry when they are sad, even if it’s just while watching a sappy love story.

In Canada where boys are often told that it is not ok to cry, to toughen up, they learn to suppress their emotions early on. According to statistics Canada there is a heart attack every 7 minutes and heart disease accounts for thirty percent of all male deaths, here in India only 11% of the population is at risk. A spiritual perspective is that a heart attack happens when one can no longer feel the prompts of their heart center.

Every soul needs to find the right balance for them; personally I feel this comes with the ability to be tough enough to handle the perils of the world yet soft enough to feel the subtlest whispers of your heart, this may be the key to long lasting health and happiness.

"Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem." ~Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Being what many refer to as a Nature Devi I love to watch animals and as I witnessed a lizard crawl across my wall hunting its prey with patience and stealth it dawned on me how foreign it would be to see such a sight in Canada, so I spent the rest of my day looking around at what is truly different in the animal kingdom here in Vrindaban.

I’ve mentioned the monkeys before, we have mainly Reece monkeys which are the naughty ones, always stealing bags and glasses, they are the ones I’ve deemed the ‘monkey mafia’. Occasionally we have Languor monkeys come to town, they’re pretty cool (they actually keep the Reece monkeys away) and are quite friendly. You can hand feed them and in my experience they will only take what they are given and be quite content. I’ve had one come and sit down beside me, mimicking my posture, one knee bent, one leg stretched out in front of me, hands wrapped around my bent knee, he just looked at me for a moment then stared off in front of him. I wondered what he was thinking, was he like “hey this is cool, I’m sitting next to a human” because I know I was thrilled to be sitting next to a monkey!

We had a four foot cobra get dropped by a bird of prey just up the street from us a few weeks ago. I was terrified it would slither towards our home. Within a half an hour the same bird swooped down and captured its meal, all the villagers were safe…felt like I was in a national geographic program.

Dogs roam the streets, goats dressed in t-shirts sit in peoples doorways and of course cows. The cow is Holy in India because traditionally you go from your mother’s milk to the cows; therefore she is considered your second mother, thus holy. The male cows work in the fields just like fathers have for centuries earning them the same respect.

We have horses used in a taxi type service and camels. These long legged creatures cart various items around town. Whenever I walk by one I always get the feeling I’m being assessed. There’s an air of arrogance about the camel as they look me up and down, I’m not sure what it is they’re grading but they are known for spitting on people, fortunately I must pass their test because this has never happened to me.

My favorite animal to see is the elephant. Here it isn’t a daily sight but it’s not uncommon. The majestic beasts are the epitome of grace, strength and beauty. There is an energy that comes from being near an elephant that is hard to express with words.

The animal world has provided countless hours of entertainment, more so guidance, if you pay attention there’s knowledge to be gained observing their primal behavior, their connection to source is instinctive and natural, just like ours is meant to be.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” ~ Cicero

When I asked my friends what they would like to know more about in regards to my life in India one asked what my spiritual practices were and it really made me think. I realized my life has become spiritual. For me there is nothing special or out of the ordinary that I do each day, I simply try to go about my daily life conscious and connected to God self.

That being said I will talk about some of the ‘practices’ I have adopted over the years that are part of my routine. One I learnt from author Loretta LaRoche; each morning when she opens her eyes she yells out a cheer “Waahooo, I made it! I have another day.” I take a moment when I place my feet on the floor getting out of bed, I look around and really let it sink in that I have been blessed with another day, I pull energy from the four directions, connect to source energy through my crown, plant my feet feeling earth, and bring it all to my heart center.

I check in with my body each day, connecting to each body part feeling for any disturbance in prana (energy flow.) I try to do something physical; workout, go for a walk, or pull out my yoga mat for an asana practice, whatever my body calls for I let my muscles guide me into what they need.

For Hindu’s bathing is a ritual. Daily one must cleanse their outer and inner body. So when I shower I am aware of the waters purifying presence and ability to wash away all that ails. For inner cleansing meditation is key, I find time each day to go into the stillness, five minutes or an hour, whatever I have time for is exactly what is needed. I also believe the goal of meditation is to be in control or at least aware of our thoughts. So throughout my day I constantly check in to make sure my thoughts are manifesting the world I want to live in, if my thoughts have gone in a direction I don’t like and I can’t seem to reel them in, I recite mantras.

I make a point to listen to Bhajan (devotional music) and read inspirational books; even my facebook feed is filled with people whose statuses nourish my soul.

I pray. I either go to a temple, our home’s deity or simply close my eyes and connect to source energy. I ask for guidance and continued growth, I pray for my heart to grow in love and faith and I always end my prayers asking how I can be of service on this day.

I’m sure there’s more I’m simply not recognizing but one of the simplest methods that I believed changed my life substantially is taking a minute each night and writing down five things I am grateful for. It is an easy way to bring more love and abundance into one’s life.