What I used to do

Before I came to India on my first journey I admit I was completely out of Balance. After spending nearly three months in this glorious country I was grounded, I was connected to my truth, I sat in my own power. It was easy to be me because it was now the only truth I knew, so much programming had fallen away in the silence and rekindled joy of my inner child.

It wasn’t easy remaining true in the West nothing felt right any more. So when the opportunity to move to India presented itself as you know, I did just that.

Becoming an Indian Housewife and mother definitely threw me off balance once again, but that is because I stopped being true to me. I disconnected from putting my soulwork first in an effort to be what I thought was wanted of me, in an effort to make sure everyone loved me.

In every situation we find ourselves we are either aligned with higher self or detouring off the path. When we are in alignment everything feels right, there is no struggle, its when we step out of our blue print, deviate off of the path that serves us to one that no longer does we feel discombobulated.

The question I am continuously asked and ask myself is how to get aligned?

Unfortunately there is not one perfect solution, because we are all unique we all need to take different action. I know that may not be what you were hoping to hear but have faith there are modalities that can help you find your truth; meditation in it’s many forms is by far the most effective and a great starting point for anyone at any stage trying to achieve anything.

The rest my friends is divine. When you connect back to yourself through meditation the universe will begin to show you where you need to focus, where you need to put your energy, what the steps are you need to take in order to achieve this oneness with god self most of us are seeking on some level. 

That has been the point of my last few blogs particularly the one where I asked you to commit for one week. Together we discovered answers everywhere, literally everywhere, we just had to open ourselves long enough to listen.

For me the first step in my reconnection was Reflective meditation,

The practice of reflective or analytical meditation is like disciplined thinking: choosing a theme, question, or topic of contemplation we focus our reflection, or analysis, upon it. When our attention wanders to other thoughts, we return to our chosen topic. 
Excerpt taken from "The Five Types of Meditation" outlined by the website self-guided. 

It was a non judgement process where I allowed myself to return to my happiest time, a place where I felt the most at peace, within that were keys, what was I doing in that time and place that I was no longer doing now? The list was surprising large; Meditating, Yoga, Healthy Eating were all areas I was already aware of and making great strides to transform.

But other area's I had all but forgotten about included: Working with minerals and gemstones. Healing with crystals came quite naturally to me and even ironically during a deep clean of our home a few weeks ago I found a bag of stones I had brought from Canada five years ago when I moved here, I think I stopped using them almost immediately. Now they sit in a bowl in kitchen and daily I am getting reacquainted with their energy!


Hugging Trees, my mother always joked about me as a child talking to trees, She'd often find me outside sitting near a tree having a conversation, hugging them became a natural extension of this. I didn't want to draw extra attention to myself in a culture where I already stand out so I stopped doing things that are not with societies 'norm.'

We have a wonderful Ashoka Tree in our courtyard who now receives a hug from not only me each morning but my children who are overjoyed with the experience. Ashoka trees are considered quite auspicious and linked to Hindu History, Ashoka literally means "without sorrow"so fitting,



Dancing, I've been a dancer since childhood, but some how I misconstrued my husbands comments on how Indian women were the best dancers combined with the bombardment of Bollywood actresses like Katrina Kaif on TV dancing in ways I no longer felt capable of doing in a pregnant  Indian housewife state, My love of movement felt frumpy and forged, I no longer felt like a Goddess when I moved in my body, I felt foreign and feared being judged. Sadly to this day my husband has never seen me dance but I am slowly get back my rhythm, and maybe, just maybe,,.



Smiling in this culture can be misinterpreted out the street and I was lectured once for laughing in a busy market because it brought about unwanted stares. I began to stifle my laughter.

Fortunately with the arrival of two goofball children the laughs in our world have expanded and I'm trying now to make a point at laughing about the things that can be frustrating. I mentioned the anger I was feeling in a previous blog, it wasn't serving me but the laughter certainly does and helps to transmute those unwanted emotions. Laughter truly is the best therapy!



I realized I gave up a lot of my confidence going anywhere by myself and being completely fearless
living in a culture that holds women in their arms for safety I began to feed into the vibration
plus as most mothers will tell you the world can start to feel a little scary when you have a child, like a Mama Lion you are now more aware of dangers that could potentially lurk around the corner. In an effort to transmute this I've been heading out more frequently alone, my husband fully supports this which is lucky really because my Indian sister in laws do not leave the home unaccompanied and while my mother and father in law are not crazy about it they do understand and are getting more comfortable with it,

Next in my journey I'm going to revisit my bucket list, you know the things you'd like to experience before you "kick the bucket". Something I actually began creating in my teens and updated frequently but like everything I've talked about in this post something I haven't looked at in five years!

Time to connect back to the part of me that longs for experiences in this world and set some intentions for the future, care to join me in compiling a list? I'd love for you to share the inspiration...

In love and light beautiful souls

Follow @1balancedsoul

Scribbles from my world...

The inner work continues. like a yo yo I'm up I'm down but the beautiful part is I'm in it. 

I don't have the energy or the time to write right now, I'm releasing and my energy needs to be there, not distracted which is so tempting to do. In this place of liberation I have surrendered, I am not trying to change it, or hurry it, or make it anything other than what it is. I offer myself and all that I am and hope to become to this pivotal stage. 

But in an effort to stay true to the writing, sharing process I will leave you this week with some notes I scribbled that seem to sum up the process I am undergoing:

The ocean takes a breath, I feel myself do the same. It’s shifting, swirling, moving with no sense of direction yet every sense of purpose

I feel the energy shifting in my body, my vibration is rising. 

I feel in sync with the chaos of the ocean. 

Waves climb their way up onto the rocks, sliding and cascading content to just make a splash.

The ocean breaths in once again, I do the same. 

The waves reach higher, a deeper sense of urgency stirs in my soul. Big waves, small waves, hardly a ripple, it’s all the same water…

The ocean takes a breath I do the same

~ In Love and Light Beautiful Souls

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Messages in places you don't expect...

It's been a huge week of release for me. More crying than I can even begin to explain, but that in itself has been very healing. I've also really been focusing on connecting back to the parts of me I somehow lost along the path. There were many pieces that needed to fall, they no longer served my highest truth but there were some that I let go without realizing the harm it was doing to my soul. So while I spend some quiet time contemplating I'm also doing all I can to connect back to the elemental side of my being, more on that in future blogs.

I was going to skip a post this week but thought instead to assure you the messages continue to pour in from the universe as I remain open, even though some days the emptiness I am still feeling threatens to consume me. 

One particular example of a message where I didn't expect it:

I am not a fan of television, years before I moved to India I threw mine out. I do everything I can to avoid it. People use it as “a way to unwind” and when I first returned home from three months of ashram peaceful existence I was excited to catch up on some of my favourite shows but within five minutes I could not believe the way my body was feeling. I finally understood what many scientists had already proven. Watching television elevates stress levels in the body.

Needless to say rarely does the television come on in our home unless hubby who loves to watch movies turns it on and I often leave the room. The other day I really wanted to be close to him, I needed to be in his presence the weather was to hot outside to go anywhere and enjoy ourselves and for once the idea of getting lost for awhile in a movie was actually appealing so I gave in and watched pretty much an entire movie with my beloved.

He put on an English station so I could really enjoy myself without having to think of the translation, it was one of the Xmen movies, not really my genre but remember my post from last week about remaining open and you know what? True to my world it was quite deeper than I anticipated and there was even a powerful message in a scene towards the end when one of the main characters visits himself in the future and he gets a message from his feature self about taking in all of the emotional pain of those around him because ”he was built to handle it”. It is part of his special (mutant) power and is the gift he can offer, as an empath it rang so true I actually cried one of those healthy “Oh my God somebody understands me and maybe I do have a purpose” cries.

The very next day I randomly picked up one of my many notebooks scattered in various locations throughout our room and I found this note that I had written to the universe a few months back:

“I feel it so you don’t have to.

I cry for reasons unknown even to me

I shed tears for your release, to give you space to breathe and continue

I chose this, I am led to believe

I came here ready to take it all on

A spiritual warrior, a sponge, an innocent soul ready to help be the change

But the hurt, the injustice that must be consumed and transmuted is wearing me down

I need strength, in Grace, from the angels that are among us seen and unseen, I need you to show me my purpose, that all of this is worth fighting for.”

And a tiny spark is ignited, a shimmer of hope, a bit of strength to continue to face the shadows…

Tell me what messages came through for you this week?

In love and light beautiful souls ~

Follow @1balancedsoul

Can you commit for one week?

I received a lot of feed back after my last blogpost and I thank each of you who took the time to share your truth, your experiences, offer your wisdom and advice but most of all I thank you for the love and encouragement as I continue to open up further to the light.





I'm still processing all that I am going through, working with the wonderful messages that are coming forth and doing my best to integrate changes.

As I mentioned in my last blog "I am open and ready to receive guidance" but I've discovered staying open isn't always easy, especially when you hear things that you don't want to believe as true! So this week I've been practicing remaining open to all of the suggestions no matter how foreign they may sound.

Many people pray or ask for guidance but then they don't take the time to listen to the whispers from spirit around them or simply shrug off the bombardment of signs aka messages that are delivered, I committed myself to understanding that only God, my angels, my higher self, were speaking to me this week. That absolutely everything I heard was a message for my emotional health and healing.

So even when I heard proposals like "you should consider medication" or "it's the devil" I remained open despite the negative aspect of ego that did everything it could to close me down. When I felt the resistance I took time to truly see what I was actually resisting and find the pearl of truth that was being offered by this particular angel's message.

I'll start with the suggestion that I should consider medication because this one came in a few times and I immediately scoffed. While I'm grateful for the existence of pharmaceuticals, especially in those times when assistance is needed during the healing process, I do however believe that without getting to the (spiritual) root of the issue and simply medicating the medication will just act as a band-aid, the underlying issue will not dissolve it will simply manifest in other areas.

But in an effort to remain open I committed to seeking professional help if I couldn't make headway by the end of the month, And furthermore I contemplated what was said "you should consider medication" and the reality "medicine" for me has always been more about supplements and vitamins and even more importantly from an Ayurvedic philosophy food.

Ayurveda is a ancient medical care system that translates to the science (or knowledge) of life. My very first trip to India was for an Ayurvedic retreat where I learned the importance of eating the right foods for my body type. Healthy food doesn't always mean its the correct food, shocking I know!

So remembering my teachings here in India I understand anger is related to a Pitta imbalance so this is where I've begun, with the help of a trusted Ayurvedic Doctor and my own knowledge I am eating a much more mindful diet, and taking time to find the balance needed for this dosha.

If your interested in finding out more about Dosha's click the link to take the free Dosha quiz. 







And when my dear friend told me it was "the Devil and I needed to rebuke the devil verbally". I had visions of me loosing my *hit then claiming a defence of ' the devil made me do it!' my ego encouraged me to laugh it off but once again my commitment to remain open over ruled and I took a breath, asked her to give a me moment to let her words find a truth somewhere inside of me.

I don't believe in the devil or hell as many Christian's see it, so it was a little hard for me to swallow but then I thought about what the devil does represent to me. I believe the devil is a personification of what does not serve our highest version of self, the distractions (demons) that keep us from being in our naturally blissful (Christ Conscious) state. Again an angel had spoken and I was heeding the advice which was put to the test later that day; when I felt angry I cried out "Nope, this is not me or mine. Universe show me instead where to direct this energy"

Shortly afterwards it was suggested that "I stomp my feet like a child having a tantrum to let it out," something that makes my kids laugh out loud and the sound of their giggles is enough to soothe any angry mood like they say laughter is the best medicine!

Many people proposed I work on grounding myself one that stood out particularly recommended physically touching the ground, then my husband was watching a movie and when the student was consumed by his anger his Sensei (martial arts teacher) had him 'take a knee.'  See what I mean friends, advice from the divine was/is all around ;)


So the work continues, I understand frustrations will arise especially as a mother of two small children and being in an intercultural marriage but what I'm working with is not just a frustration, it is something larger, a force if you will, but by implementing the above changes I have started to make some headway and I know there is more to it, I'll get to the bottom, or root, of it you know why? Because my beloved and these love bugs, heck I, deserve nothing more than to be my highest version of self.

And so the Spiritual adventure continues and I invite you to join me...

Can you commit for one week? One week of understanding that only God (insert whatever you want here: universe, source, spirit...) is talking to you? Let go of all resistance to anything and everything you hear and see if a pattern arises that is offering you a gateway to walk through, so you too may be more aligned with your truth? I'd love to hear about the experience...

~ In Love and Light beautiful souls

Follow @1balancedsoul

Open and waiting for guidance...

I wish I could say it's been easy since I did the parikarma of my town, that I woke up the following morning filled with vitality and joy and everything just fell into place. That my world has been nothing but sunshine and butterflies. Well actually there has been a lot of sunshine a little to much. Indian summers have the same affect on me as Canadian winters. In both cases one tends to be housebound. For months it has been too hot to really get out and enjoy the world around me but at the same time I recognize those are just circumstances, and if one allows circumstances and/or situations to determine their happiness or inner peace then effort is futile. Blaming the weather for any of my emotions or discomforts is remaining in victim mode.

*For those of you interested in ways to break out of Victim Mentality here is a link to a great article with some helpful hints!

In truth while the sun blazes outside my work is inside, inside of me. The sun in all of its power has a ton of healing properties and I'm tapping into the energy of the sun and cycles of the moon to assist me on this aligning journey but more on that in future blogs.

Me Hiking the Inca Trail

In all honesty this is proving to be the biggest undertaking I've encountered thus far in my life, and I've trekked the Andes! The continuous bombardment in my mind of random thoughts are wasted energy. I once remember a teacher from Brahma Kumaris when asked how she could possibly look so young and have so much vitality at such an old age, she was in her 90's and keeping a schedule that most thirty year old's would tire from, and she replied that she didn't "waste thoughts"

Have you ever taken a moment, an hour, or  day to listen to your thoughts? It can be exhausting! They say the average person has between 50 000 to 70 000 thoughts per day that is 35 to 48 thoughts per minute!

Reining in my thoughts is just one of the keys to finding the inner peace that continue to allude me. Also getting a handle on my reactions. Now I'm not talking about not honouring my emotions I simply mean I do not want my emotions to control me and the way I treat  those around me.

I've been understanding more how important our emotions are, any perceived negative emotion is simply a guidepost to let us know we are no longer aligned with source, our higher self. And while the knowledge of this truth is an essential stepping stone for growth it does not eradicate the fact that I have been feeling A LOT of anger, surges of it in fact. Often around the same time, late afternoon early evening, I literally want to strangle somebody, or beat any body that comes near my space. But see I have two small children that are almost always in my space so it makes it very difficult to move past and I will not allow myself to have them be the grunt of the onslaught of this raw emotion.

So I am looking for helpful ways to diffuse and release and am completely open to your suggestions

One friend suggested punching pillows, I've tried it, doesn't work for me. And in truth I don't want my kids to see me that angry and  think that somehow they are the cause for Mommy's hatred of the moment.

Another friend offered that perhaps I was absorbing the anger of those around me. It's true, I am an empath in many ways, and it is correct that my husband's angry reputation is reputed in our town so perhaps I am absorbing the anger that is still inside of him yet consciously he now has far more control over. But I was angry long before he was ever even in my life. I can remember an Osteopath well over a decade ago informing me I had a lot of "anger stored inside", an acupuncturist made the same comment during our sessions and even the Swami that I first studied with here in India told me while I had a "beautiful heart filled with an enormous amount of love there was some deep anger in my cells that needed to be released."

So it brings me back to square one. My favourite teacher of the moment is Bentinho Massaro and the latest lesson I watched on youtube he proposed when you feel something negative instead of wishing it away say Hell Yeah! Bring it on, it's pointing to a place where you are not aligned and that is a beautiful thing, the question to ask is "okay so where do I go next with it?"

So I sit, open and waiting to receive the guidance needed in this next phase of my journey, perhaps one of you holds the answer...

A picture taken before marriage in Rishikesh a time when I felt more at peace then ever before in my life

~ In Love and Light Sweet Souls

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When the shift happened and I saw stars in the darkness...

It all really started to shift back into place during Adhik Mass here in India it's an auspicious month that according to the lunar calender happens approx every three years,

A month that should be and completely was devoted to "self-development, evaluation, assessment, reflection, retrospection and Introspection", so that is exactly what I did. I made the commitment to get back to me, to listen to the prompts, to give up the excuses, to stop wallowing in victimhood. I took back control but at the same time surrendered; one of the many paradoxes faced on the spiritual path. Two seemingly opposite theories yet both divinely intertwined.

During Adhik Mass they say "it is a time for one's own soul and spirit to complete all pending work, detoxify the body and engage in spiritual rituals. To regain ones strength in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual terms."

About a week into the month I decided to join with of my family members who were engaging in Parikrama, it is a walk circling an area or sacred spot, in this instance the town I call home in India, 11 km that encompasses all five thousand ancient temples, It is said to purify ones world, eliminating karma and releasing one from the cycle of birth and rebirth. I've done it before but the last time was five years ago.

While walking, barefoot I may add, I thought about all of the excuses I've used since marrying my beloved and giving birth to our two children, I was growing increasingly ill, and stressed. I was still far more reactive than I wanted to be, I knew this walk was what I needed to begin empowering myself again, facing a challenge can remind you of how little the little peeves really are.

We, a number of family members including some of the children, left at 4:30am and it was still dark outside, years ago it was dirt roads, when I first started travelling to India only seven years ago it was still dirt roads but now the entire thing is concrete, The government kept one area off to the side fenced in similar to sidewalks in the west where the dust remains, unfortunately it is also a dumping ground for thousands of outsiders who descend upon our town each day, Workers have been trying to keep it clean but to no avail, so on the pavement we sauntered, my feet began to ache at about the half way point.

I seriously considered jumping on a passing rickshaw, I questioned the point of continuing, what was this really serving? My family was doing it for God. I don't believe in a God that blesses some and punishes others, if that was the case then why oh Lord why are people like Kanye West and Kim Kardashian still living large while school teachers are being poorly paid and often purchasing school supplies their own money?

I begged to know was this serving my higher self? My God self?

And then it happened, the undeniable call of a peacock, the morning sun igniting the moment.

I slowed and was in awe, could it really be?

The peacock is symbolic in almost every faith and country.

In Greek mythology Hera gave the peacock it's many eyes to see the past, present and future, the all knowing eye (truth). Chinese say that the blending of the five colours of it's feathers gives us the sweet harmony of sound. In Egypt, the peacock is associated with the Sun God Ra. In Christianity the peacock symbolises death and resurrection. And here in India he is associated with Lord Krishna, the very God whose path I was following for this walk; the ultimate enjoyer and lover of life. 

I felt a presence, larger than the bird in front of me, larger than me, it's one I've known since childhood and I felt the message being offered; "you've got this, there is nothing you can not achieve if you really want it" 

My spirit lifted and I felt a spring in my step. I wanted this, I wanted to prove to myself I once more that I was capable, capable of anything and everything!

About three quarters of the way through I couldn't understand how my sister in laws were still walking normally, I was hobbling. They were on day four of this walk, day four! I thought my feet had gotten tough after five years running around India but I was wrong. I began to beat myself up, what was wrong with me? All I wanted was epsom salt soak and good cry they didn't seem phased at all. I exercise and do yoga practically daily, they do nothing of the sort, how was I so much weaker?

Another peacock sang in the distance. My mind stopped and I realized the continuous patterns I was going to have to work on if I was truly going to achieve inner peace. The comparisons, the self judgement, the belief that I or my life was anything but divine. It was all going to have to end and it was going to take courage and constant attention to my thoughts to get there.

I changed my focus I realized these women in general have a strength I admire. There isn't time to waste in self pity or wallowing when as task is at hand, just get it done! I was honoured remember they are a reflection of me. My heart smiled and I noticed a woman trot by with her mala bag and I regretted the decision to not bring mine, I chose to not bring it fearing my family would think I looked to much like a "foreigner devotee" but as the peacock continued his song I reminded myself that I am a foreigner. Yes I wear the clothes, speak the language (sort of) I even have the name but I'm still a Canadian girl, One they all accepted open heartedly, one they all respect for all that I have done to be part of their culture, but never, ever did they ask me to stop being me, that I did to myself..

And my darknight of the soul began to lift...

State of my dusty feet when I returned home

One of four blisters

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

In Love and Light Beautiful Souls ~

Follow @1balancedsoul

Aligning habits aligned with desires

I've been torn over what to write about next. There are so many aspects of my life that would like a voice but yet each day since my last blog when I sat at my computer I drew a blank, what do I really want to put out here now?

I don't like to rehash the past but I think it's an important aspect of my journey and a few of you have expressed interest in understanding a dark night experience.

I came across this great article this week on Dark Night of the Soul that may help you to understand what I and maybe even you have experienced.

My dark night was intense and long, not the first one I've ever experienced but the longest and most challenging. It essentially challenged every aspect of my life and while for the most part it has lifted, I'm still working through processing all of the information and implementing the changes that have to occur in order for me to find the one thing I've been praying for; Inner Peace.

It's a lofty prayer, filled with so much interpretation. When people come to visit me or join in on our of our Spiritual Adventures at our Guesthouse there is one particular temple we always try to fit in. This temple is renowned in India for having your prayers answered. I can attest; my marriage to my Indian love, my babies, trips to Canada all manifested within a short period of time after being present within this sacred space, the auspicious energy of the area and deity can be felt and I have no doubt it is a vortex.

Over the last year my prayer has been for lasting inner peace. When I think of inner peace I think of a relaxed life, where everything just kinda flows easy breezy. I don't expect that life will be perfect all the time but my prayers have simply been to bring that sense of joy and ease back into my world.

Like anything inner peace is possible but it takes work, inner work, and continuous practice. 

My dark night was a deep cleaning of sorts. First I had to recognize all of the patterns that have kept me from my peace. The thing is if you're willing to see them, you'll then notice that everything and everyone around you that is negative or disturbing is merely a reflection of your own truth. This can be a hard pill to swallow. I wasn't sure what to do with the information being tossed at me.

My honeymoon with the country I call home ended. I began to see the injustice, the poverty, the pollution, the patriarchal society that I had agreed to raise my children in. I was feeling overwhelmed and very alone.

My marriage began to suffer. It seemed that no matter what I said or did my husband wasn't happy with me. In one moment he was supportive and filled with love and next irate or withdrawn. I began to walk on egg shells around him, worried that I would set off one of his moods.

I felt I could only connect with the women of my house if I was complaining about something, so I shared my list of grievances with them, often. Negativity is like cancer when it spreads and I was consumed.

The stress was taking a toll on my health physically and mentally. I was no longer able to focus and really my children where the ones who were suffering at my lack of light which only intensified the darkness surrounding me.

I began to sink into an anxiety filled depression.

I read somewhere depression is when are thoughts are in the past and anxiety is when our thoughts are in the future. Check and Check!

I was spending a lot of time wondering how I would survive and be happy again in this country, in my marriage, in this world. I was also growing increasingly resentful of all I had left behind in Canada to be here. Never a good cycle.

I did the only thing I could, I turned to prayer. I prayed for direction, for connection to truth, for the inner peace I longed to experience again, and I opened up to see, hear and feel the truth.

See the thing is messages are everywhere and once I began to remember that it is all God the messages began to pour in. The universe began showing me what I needed to do. Angels were guiding me back home, back into my light, my alignment.

I started by getting back on my yoga mat. I started there because that was where I was when I wsas my happiest, my most connected. Twenty minutes was the goal, connection to higher self is the true goal of yoga, union. Release began there, that is the first step in healing, releasing all that no longer serves you.

More importantly for me I began waking up before everyone in my family and meditating. I couldn't turn on my computer, or the television with this prompt. It seemed my angels were diligent at nailing this message home! Understandably meditation is the key to my calm, I know, I've known it for decades, even if it is for only 5 minutes it's something and life (day) altering.

Then I was prompted to write, I was added to blogger group, I was inspired by writing groups but I started slowing with notes; when I was stressed out by anyone, I'd write it out, Why I was stressed, if there was anything I could do to change the situation, what would I like to outcome to be and the key was at the end to make a list of all the things I loved about the person "who was stressing me out".

To help my marriage I was led to a crazy amount of quotes and writings on love and relationships. I began to understand my husband was showing me my own lack of self worth, a part of my blueprint I came into this life to work through.

To help our relationship  I began playing the music each morning that my husband and I fell in love to during our courtship.

Each time he spewed venom at me I recognized it was my own beliefs coming back at me. It only hurt when I thought it was true.

Beautiful teachers and their lessons were being brought into my world via the internet and teachings were bringing me into a whole new understanding. Each time hubby stung me I had to look in the mirror, it was my truth, something I believed to be true about myself.

One teacher in particular said "if someone said Oh My God you look like a Chinese person! how would you respond?" I know I'd probably think the person had gone insane. Well this is how crazy I needed to think Hubby was when he said anything I perceived as an insult and you know what, it has worked.




My marriage is in such an amazing place, hubby can still have moods as any of us humans can but they are few and far between and instead of lasting for days they last only minutes. My response, usually a smile on the inside and to just love him through it. That's all any of us want, unconditional love despite our flaws. His reactions like any of us tend to come from our own place of stress and lack on inner peace. The more peaceful I am, the more he and everyone around me is.




When I do spend time with the ladies of my home I keep the conversation focused on all that is great in our lives, if they can't shake it, I convince them to put on music and shake it off, usually with the assistance of the kids. kids have a great way at bringing laughter and joy into a room!

To fall back in love with the country I was calling home I began my blog on all the things I love about living in India (which will continue because in truth the list is long!)

These were just some of the changes I implemented that really helped to bring a bit of balance back into my world. Perhaps I'll write more on the lessons that came forth but for now I leave you in a place of understanding what I did to bring me out of it.
Because where I am now is worth talking about so much more than where I was. 

It's why I prefer the question "how are you" verses "how have you been" keeping life centred in the present moment is one of my keys to inner peace.

Tell me are your habits aligned with your desires?


In Light and Love
Namaste

Admittedly I felt special

I've been quiet for sometime now, in fact I've attempted to write a few times but have been sidetracked by a lack of knowing what to say but I think you've gotten used to that now.

In truth I've been contemplating a farewell blog.

I've struggled for sometime with the content and direction of this blog. I joined a number of blogger support groups but that kinda backfired, I joined for inspiration what I got instead was the realization that there are so many people writing about their relationships with Indian men, their lives here in India with far more response and even making some good coin doing so it actually left me feeling more depleted.

When I began this adventure and my zest for sharing it there were only a couple of us writing on the subject, I felt I was offering something unique. Admittedly I felt special. But after reading so many great stories that I felt often explained my life quite unfiltered and eloquently I was even more done with the whole blogging sphere. Not to mention the amount of not for me bloggers that appeared to have huge followings despite their lack of proper grammer, spelling grievances and little to no maturity or depth in writing. I seriously couldn't help but question wth?

But life (the Universe/God) has a way of keeping you aligned with your highest truth and just as I was to say goodbye and put pen to paper so to speak I received a couple of impromptu messages from new fans. One confided she stayed up half the night despite being a new Mom and in desperate need of sleep because she felt I was speaking directly to her, that I had written for her to help ease all of her fears, to console all of her woes, to lift her spirits surrounding her new found intercultural life and spiritual awakening.

So here I am once again, rekindled to share my world via this blog. I had to go back to the beginning and read some of my own story and remember why I began blogging. It was for her, for you. If just one person finds an inkling of comfort in my words (other then my beloved Grandmother) then I am serving a higher source.

Now that I'm finally able to let go of my ego's grip on why I've been blogging I'm able to find inspiration from the beautiful souls in my blogging network, because of them I'm going to be less filtered, to continue to be truthful even if it's ugly and not to worry about my numbers, I'm not doing this as a "living" or a business like many of them I'm doing this because writing for me is therapeutic. 

Mine continues to be a spiritual journey, an awakening, an aligning. And just like my blogging I fell off that path so to speak. I was less committed to me and more committed to being a Mom, I was less committed to me and more committed to being a good "Indian" housewife. I was less committed to me and more committed to being an accepted bahu (Indian daughter in law) but after a rather long intense dark night of the soul I'm ready to commit back to being me. Just me, unfiltered and imperfect. A simple Canadian girl still trying to find balance in the chaos of India, throw in the dynamics of joint family life and two toddlers that sway back and forth between terrorists and starseed I hope it continues to inspire you.

I'll keep sharing my world with you and I hope you'll stay on board for the ride. I can't promise much and I have no direction where this will go, no agenda as to what this blog will be about and no schedule for my posts. My life is filled with many roles all of which are part of my spiritual (mis)adventures the only guarantee I can make is I'll blog when I can about whatever I think you may enjoying hearing about. The same commitment I made in the beginning.

If you'd like me to talk more about my dark night of the soul experience let me know, I've been in touch with many folks on a spiritual journey who have been going through similar experiences this year, if you'd be interested in sharing your story I'd LOVE to feature it along with mine...

In light and love,
~ Radhika

What I love about India...13 Shopping

I still have a couple more things I want to share in this series on "What I love about living in India" and next on my list are the

Indian Bazaar's (markets)

I love that India is one of the last places where consumerism, brand madness and corporate control doesn't rule the day.



In my town there are no american chain stores and no fast food restaurants. It was quite shocking to me on a recent road trip to Delhi when we stopped in a mall and everywhere were American brand name shops, while the air conditioning was a nice treat and for a moment it was fun to recognize the familiar brands but after an hour I was done. The novelty had worn off, I craved my little market stalls, where outrageous prices on factory produced cooker cutter items wasn't the norm.



When you see a sari, or top, or pair of jeans in our local market that you like best to purchase because the chances of finding it again are slim to none. There are not usually ten pieces of the same item, you may find the same top but the colour and design will vary.

Purchasing a sari is an experience within itself, when you enter to the shop it's customary to take a seat on the floor and give a brief idea of what you are looking for; fancy, simple, price range, etc... and then the shop keepers begin pulling out items until you find just the right one!




Don't forget to barter, although many shops nowadays have a "fixed rate" sign hanging somewhere in the store, this is rarely the case, almost always you can find a bit of a discount, especially if you are purchasing a number of items.

Not only can you find great quality items at a fraction of the cost you get to enjoy the rich ambiance that is Indian culture.

Shopping in India is so much fun I've actually turned it into a bit of a job, purchasing treasures and trinkets from Mom and Pop shops and selling them back in Canada, I call it Balanced Soul Clothing and Accessories I feel it is a much needed answer to corporate consumerism that is plaguing the west and helps to support the local economy in the town I call home,

Do you have any funny stories about shopping abroad to share? I'd love to hear them and feature them next week when I tell you about one of my most hilarious shopping excursions...

Wednesday's Wisdom

Wednesday's Wisdom

I don't even feel I can write about this, it kind of left me feeling a little shocked because if I am being completely honest with you, which I always am, I've been wasting days.

I'm in a haze, I can't seem to get out of my own way.

While I want to meditate daily I'm choosing to sleep in far to often. My allergies have been acting up again so of course that is the excuse I tell myself in order to believe I am to tired to wake up a half an hour before my kids.

I want to write more but when the kids go down for their nap, well it wouldn't hurt to take a five minute nap would it? Yes when it turns into two hours!

My yoga practice..well honestly getting on my mat once a week hardly equates a "practice."

Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself, my last round of blood work did show some major deficiencies and my supplements have long run out, but again it goes back to the above quote and what I tell people all the time, take responsibility, own this life. Nobody can save you but you. There is no magic cure. You have to do the work if you want to see the results!

On the plus side last week I posted about "doing good for your soul" and I have been spending more time in nature, exploring more temples and sitting out under the stars more frequently. In fact I'm going to log of now and go do just that.

Thanks for checking in with me, more soon...

Follow @1balancedsoul

What I love about life in India...12 rickshaws

Next on my list of "What I love about life in India" is

Rickshaws

Here in our town we have three varieties to choose from:

My personal favorite is the cycle rickshaw, any season these are available and a very inexpensive way to get from point A to point B. Because our town is quite small you can get just about anywhere fairly quickly for about fifty rupees which is approximately one dollar in North America.

I have a few I always choose to go with, they are the guys that are strong and have never tried to rip me off, When they see me coming there is a race to get to me first, it's an ongoing joke among them.

What I love most about cycle rickshaws is that you can get around easily and still check out the sights along the way!

The next type of rickshaw is a tuk tuk or in this area it is knows as an "auto"

Although much faster they do tend to be double the price and I find the drivers often rude, they have always attempted to charge me more than double the going rate despite my Indian garb and Hindi capabilities and on top of that they often take on more passengers stuffing as many people into the ride as possible, which in India is about ten more than there are actual seats for. I rarely utilize there services to be honest.

The last form of rickshaw just became available in our area this year; the electric rickshaws are much better for the environment than the traditional tuk tuk and the price tends to rival the cycle rickshaw, the only downside is the lack of shocks to help absorb our bumpy road conditions.

Maneuvering our streets can be difficult by car but all three of these can get down our narrow ally ways and vehicles are technically restricted from our marketplace but cycle and electric rickshaws are are allowed and even the autos find their way in, which makes them all super convenient.

Living here I often find it easier to hail a rickshaw then worry about traffic or parking, all forms are always around which takes the stress out of getting anywhere, plus it adds to the Indian experience!

Still more to come in this series be sure to check back next weekend!

Follow @1balancedsoul

Wednesday's Wisdom

Wednesday's Wisdom

I am as guilty as the next person getting caught up in the day to day goings on of life and not cultivating the time to do what my soul aches to do.

Why is it we often forgo doing that which is good for our soul?

Why do we put it off until we are on vacation,  have alone time, less work or a different living condition, etc.?

I haven't been able to figure out the answers to the questions I've posed, perhaps its conditioning, or it somehow feels easier to go against what feels great. Maybe we feel it needs to be saved as a reward for our hard work. Whatever the reason I am vowing from this point forward to do more of what feels good for my soul! 

Doing what is good for our soul, in my humble opinion is the purpose of our existence. It is why we are here, to enjoy and connect to that authentic part of ourselves that comes alive when take the time to listen to our soul prompts.

I'm going to share my experience on my facebook page and twitter account with the hashtag #goodforthesoul I hope you will too, perhaps we can inspire one another!

Will you join me in this mission!?

Follow @1balancedsoul

A list of things I love about life in India...11 Chai

Next on my list is...

Chai


Chai translates to tea, but in India its not just a drink it's an experience.

Now let me back a track a little about me; I have never been a coffee drinker or tea drinker. Many North Americans can't start their day without caffine but it never appealed to me. I like the aroma and the taste and have indulged occasionally in one of the designer cups of coffee trying expresso in high school to fit in with the now crowd, sitting in the popular chains writing and fueling myself with one of their flavoured coffees and while I like them I didn't long for them and never wanted to it to become a habitual.

I have also and still do enjoy a cup of Green tea or any number of herbal teas but none have ever been a daily occurance.

When I first traveled to India I didn't indulge in the sweet fluid called chai, I had adopted a sattvic diet shortly after arriving and when my friend and I began touring around meeting locals she would secretly exchange her empty glass for my full one and finish it for me so I wouldn't look rude to our Indian hosts. In fact one day she ended up drinking about twelve cups of chai and was a bit strung out by the time we returned to our ashram! But that's what dear friends do for each other.

*refusing chai can be considered an insult to the Indian host


When I moved to India my husband insisted I drink chai stating its importance; many Indians feel it's a life sustaining fluid that should be drank a minimum of two times a day, one cup in the morning and one late afternoon and it is the cultural norm to fed it to children and babies alike. 

I resisted at first but when I made the move to India I also made a promise to myself that I would be up to fully adapting to Indian culture, well at least trying it on and what felt right I would keep, the rest would be discarded but that is a whole other series!

I fell in love with our morning ritual of quietly sipping the sugary yet spicy liquid, some days it would be served as "bed tea" other days we'd sit on the rooftop and shortly after moving into our families joint home preparing morning chai for my husband and in laws became my first official duty. To this day five years later I still wake before my family and prepare chai not because it is a "duty" anymore but because I love to do it. It's a special time for family and friends to come together and connect, words don't even have to be spoken.

Here in India chai flavor tends to be a little more simple than in the west. Our family recipe is simple we bring a bit of water to a boil, add loose tea, then add fresh crushed ginger, after this to has boiled we add sugar then milk, After the milk has been added a total of three boils should take place to prepare the perfect cup of chai.

We do vary it up from time to time for instance in the winter we add fresh cracked black pepper to bring some warmth to the body, throughout the year it is not uncommon to add a couple pieces of crushed cardamom (this is also great if you have an upset stomach) but my favorite is in the summer months when we pick fresh Tulsi leaves from our courtyard, Tulsi is renowned for its healing property and adds a light earthy taste and is great with or in place of the ginger.

Chai is a constant presence in India and stalls line the streets of our town and while I love home chai when we journey to a stall the wallahs are always excited to have us there and it adds another element to the chai experience!

Be sure to check back next weekend for more of "What I love about life in India"

Follow @1balancedsoul

Wednesday's Wisdom

Wednesday's Wisdom is back!

This one made me stop and really contemplate life and how easily it can shift...

So much can happen in one day. our worlds can be forever altered.

I remember when I was just twenty one years old and I had just moved back to my home town my best friend and I went out for an evening of dancing and fun, the next day she wasn't feeling well and I had a million things to do i.e. finding job, renting an apartment etc... I was to busy over the next couple of days for a visit, we chatted briefly on the phone then on the third day I received a phone call from her mother, turns out my bff not feeling well was actually kidney failure and she passed away. My world forever altered in one day.

My husband looked at me and smiled, my life forever altered in one day.

After reading the above words of wisdom not only did it make me for grateful for my days, simply as they are, no trauma or drama's to report, but also for the excitement of what else can unfold in just one day...

There are so many more examples I could share but I'm sure you get it and you too have experienced this "change" in just one day. I'd love to hear your stories and if you'll agree I'd even share some of them next week. Tell me how has one day changed your life? You can comment below or email me 1balancedsoul@gmail.com

My series "What I love about Life in India" will continue this weekend!

A list of things I love about life in India...10 Holi

There is so much more going in and around my world that I need to voice so much so that I've actually developed a bit block in my throat chakra!

So I have decided since there is still a lot that I love about India and want to share with you I'm going to continue with this series but I'll only post the series once a week, the intention is the weekend so if you've been following make sure you stop by on Saturday or Sunday each week.

I will also try to get a post in mid week about some of the things that are transpiring in my world but for now the series

Number ten on the list is...

Holi

The "Festival of Colour" or better known in India as the "Festival of Love" now I could generalize and talk about all of the  Festivals, and it's true I love many but Holi by far, is my favorite and something I look forward to every single year!

This picture here on the right is from my very first Holi celebrations five years ago where I played with children in a charity school.





Our auspicious town is quite special this time of year since one of the stories surrounding the origin of Holi explains that Krishna who was darker in colour decided to paint the fair skin of his beloved Radha. He did so in such a loving and joyful manner that everyone wanted to join in on the fun.



So thousands of people flock to our town to partake in the festivities; the crowds walk the streets and attend temples where colour is thrown with wreckless abandon.

It can reach a feverish tone and I for one tend to avoid the crowds now and just play with my family and children in our home and neighborhood. The kids love throwing colour on passerby's and the giggles and shouts of "Holi Hai" can be heard all over.

No one is safe; if you leave your house there will be colour thrown on you, my in laws turn into children on this day and to watch them laugh and enjoy themselves so much makes my heart swell with love.

 My kids are at such fun ages for this festival and were real troopers outlasting some of their older siblings!

Have you celebrated Holi? If so please share with me your experience and if you've never had an opportunity consider joining us here in India next year for this celebration at our Guesthouse!