I know it. I desire it. It is on its way!

I’ve been gifted an opportunity that I prayed for, I’m surrounded by nature with nothing on my schedule except writing. My ego wants to put pressure on me, I can hear its negative voice sarcastically saying “you’ll never get it done!” I allow myself a hesitant laugh before thinking “I really shouldn’t have mentioned to so many people my goal of emerging with a final draft in just one month, what if I can’t do it?” I follow my thoughts and begin to better understand the truth of my “self” and where the inner work still needs tweaking. After a year, I’m on the second draft, which surprisingly is a little harder; the first draft flowed out unrestricted and raw but now as I assemble the jumble of words and place them into chapters in an attempt to make it flow as a story I realize it’s a lot like floating down a river I’m still not sure where it’s going, the scenery is great but where will I end up…

I suppose that’s the adventure of being a writer or on the other end reading a book for that matter, the excitement is to see where it goes. I recognize the only thing stopping me is the fear of failure, or is it the fear of success? I’m still not 100% sure on that one.

Why am I convinced that what anyone else thinks matters? I’m not alone with this destructive patterning but I’m quite surprised to see it veer its ugly little head again. I thought I was past living my life in fear of displeasing others, or allowing the pressure of others expectations to permeate me. Obviously there is still some subtle patterning that needs to be addressed and I’m grateful to have it surface now before the “critics” get a hold of my work.

I remind myself the only deadline I have is self imposed. The reason behind writing is because I love to. I’ve been a writer since childhood. In fact my mother just found some school work from as early as elementary where teachers encouraged me to continue to write. I recall many positive reinforcements my English teachers provided over the years encouraging me to explore writing. When it came to exams I always breathed a sigh of relief when essay questions were involved, I thought everyone did, until I spoke with friends in senior year after finishing our finals. Their brains ached from the three essays that we had written, where mine was still alive with more stories longing to be told. I knew somewhere deep inside writing, in some form, would be part of my future but I still lacked the confidence to dream of being an author until now I can’t ignore the prompts any longer.  

By end of the month the dream that was scared to have a voice now has the intention to have quite an accomplishment under its belt and finishing in itself will be success.

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what would your perfect day consist of?

I was asked “what would your perfect day consist of?” It was profound for me to dig my way through the layers and get to the truth of how I would live my perfect day. I felt a need to pay it forward and there has been a lot of interesting conversations amongst friends and family.

Would you want to eat pastries while overlooking the Eiffel Tower? Relax on the beach in the south pacific? Or have a picnic on top of a mountain? As much as all of these days sound beautiful and easily could translate into a “perfect day” my truth is much easier and accessible than that. I couldn’t help but notice the majority of my loved ones wanted days that were similar to mine; the key factor we all longed for in our “perfect day” was love, laughter and most of all the peace that comes with simplicity.

After much contemplation if I was to manifest my “perfect day” it would consist of waking up on my own, no alarms, just the dawn air whispering good morning, I’d meditate to the sunrise and marvel at the world as it came alive with the promise of a new day. I’d deliver my husband a cup of homemade chai while he was still in bed (in India this is referred to as bed tea) and watch him wake up, there is a beauty and sweetness in the waking moments of loved ones when (and only when) they are awakened with love in just the fashion they like. We’d share a morning snuggle before I found my way to my yoga mat, preferably with a teacher to guide me through my practice. I’d return to do some writing then prepare and share a delicious lunch with loved ones. I’d rest and do some reading, then spend time connecting with members of my soulpod (people you feel a deep connection with on a soul level) expanding consciousness, sharing love and light. I’d take the time for a walk in nature and attend kirtan (devotional sing-a-long), participate in Pooja (worship) and even find time to watch the magnificent free show provided by source each evening, the sunset. Then I’d cook dinner and once again enjoy the meal with loved ones and if the day was truly perfect I’d get a moment to reflect under the stars, receive a massage and fall asleep in the loving embrace of my husband’s arms.

The beauty is, this isn’t too far from how my days are spent. By simply setting the intention and visualizing the life I would like, the manifestation can come forth. You may ask “what about work?” Well for me ideally the ‘money’ energy would come from the writing and connecting to members of my soulpod at my Spiritual guesthouse.

I encourage you to pull out your journal and detail what your perfect day would consist of, I’d also love to know about it so please feel free to share…

The task of becoming one with source is a labor of love

I spent the week in Annapolis Valley Nova Scotia, it’s a rural area where most of our provinces farming is done. There are lush rolling hills, fields filled with Mother Nature’s Bounty and an ease with the way of life that these sleepy little towns that make up “the valley” operate.

I used my time to relax, write and share laughter with loved ones. My family own horses so we headed to the barn where I fed them their favorite treats (apples and salt licks.) I watched these magnificent beasts in awe, their shear power would be enough to injure anyone who crossed their path yet the gentle playfulness these creatures encompassed always warms my heart, I could see the love flowing from them.

I went berry picking for the very first time in my life, something that has been on my bucket list for years! Walking through the field at one of the various u-picks in the area I felt the warmth of the sun caressing my body; the raspberry bushes were high and filled with juicy treats. Each time I picked one (filling at least a half-dozen containers) I felt more alive, I could actually feel energy coursing through my veins. I became one with mother earth, she was sharing her treasures with me and although I have always taken a moment to appreciate my food before ingesting it something inside of me became more connected to earth’s presence as a living entity than ever before. I thanked each bush as I gently pulled berries from their buds, bees buzzed around, thorns grazed my hands and snakes slithered by; all things that normally would have annoyed, frustrated or even scared me in the past suddenly came together in one cosmic dance of universal harmony.

I went for dinner with my mother and three of her dearest friends; sitting with these auntiji’s once again I was inspired. As the consciousness shift begins to take place you never know who is going to evolve and who will standstill, these beautiful goddesses are flowing with the change. Working through relationships with self and finding new balance around them. Their hard hitting questions as they inquired about all of the changes this past year brought forth came from a place of divine love and I was grateful for the opportunity to once again analyze and re-affirm my truth, if even just to myself.

The biggest lesson of the week was in my growing ability to manifest exactly what I want and need to further myself in this life. My faith continues to grow in God on a regular basis. I’ve been asking the universe for a space to write freely. I believe if I go into seclusion for a month I can have my first novel finished, turns out one of those auntiji’s is heading out of town for a month and her comfy cottage style home needs someone to love it and guess who she thought of instantly?