Love Love Love

Love Love Love

Friday, February 28, 2014

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"

You are always with yourself you you might as well enjoy the company...

As per February's resolution to cultivate more self love I'm not sure if I fully accomplished the task I set out to do but I am definitely more mindful of the negative self talk and more apt to shut it down before it gets out of hand. I still see flaws when I look at my reflection but more often I catch myself making eye contact with my soul, the twinkle of recognition takes only seconds now and more often then not this connection deters the wandering eye of judgement.

Self love for me is not only internal, although a large portion of it, but it is also taking pride in my physical body. Living in a traditional Indian town sexy isn't really a way of life. I've had to look for new ways to feel sexy because the clothing that helped the task along in the past is no longer an option, nor would I choose it. I, like you, am bombarded by images of what I've been programmed to believe is sexy, maybe even more so by Bollywood., scantly clad women with professional make up and groomers, it can leave me feeling inferior which I know it shouldn't but I'm being honest with you and even more importantly working through it. I've been making an effort to bring sexy back but in a grown sexy way (yes I just quoted someone from the Bachelor and yes I'm ashamed, lol) Grown sexy for me is a way of finding ways to be sexy as a Mom and as a wife of a man who has no desire to see me out in public it tight fitting clothes showing cleavage or bare legs. I have a girlfriend who is Muslim and I draw inspiration from her, she chooses to wear a burka although she lives in Canada and her husband doesn't demand it. She chooses this dress because according to her it makes her feel 'mysterious and incredibly sexy" she loves the fact that her husband is the only man who will ever know the true beauty of her body.

That being said I'm on a quest to be a little more yummy mommy and a little less frumpy mommy, so I'm shaving my legs more frequently, I even purchased some panties that aren't of the cotton brief variety after reading somewhere that 'you'll feel sexier if you feeeeel sexier underneath.' Don't get me wrong  I do understand that sexy and beautiful have more to do with your state of mind than anything material you can adorn but I have to admit I feel better when I look down at my hairless legs. Imagine the glow when I manage get out of my pajamas and style my hair :)

The reality is we live in a material world and I have decades of programming to work through. For now as long as their are mirrors around me the material aspect of my appearance will play a roll, albeit a small one. Taking pride in ones appearance is a balance and a good thing I think. I spend most days running around without makeup and my hair thrown back in a ponytail and I'm cool with that, I don't feel any less loving towards myself on those days but I've discovered taking care of my physical body is a part of loving myself.

A big part of cultivating self love has been looking at what I love so much in those around me. Laughter is beauty and not taking things, especially myself, so seriously. Kindness and a positive disposition is love manifested and there is nothing better than dancing for no reason at all. Moving forward will involve feeding myself the same loving kindness I afford my loved ones, being gentle with myself and indulging in even more things that make me feel  taken care of.

With March approaching I'm shifting my focus to work with a mantra of "aim higher!" I have my hands in a lot of pots and need to reorganize, let go, start up and finish. Are you spending your days at a job that brings you happiness? Is there another field you wish you were working in? Did you make your career choices based on your passions? Is there a whisper in your heart that you need to pursue?



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Monday, February 17, 2014

A cure for the Monday blues ~ clap along...

Pharrell Williams song "Happy" has become a theme song in our home. My children are as addicted to it as me. If you haven't heard it have a listen to the link below. It is is incredibly refreshing, this day in age especially since my move to India I've been having a hard time connecting to mainstream western music, sadly I find the same theme beginning in Indian culture I find its all to often about sex, drugs or money and as of late not many songs can put a smile on my face which is a shame because music can play an important role in shaping our mood . But low and behold this little gem is soaring to popularity with a message that fits my goal of this year; more happiness. Pharrell is actually promoting happiness from within, not from finding someone to love, or having more money than he knows what to do with and most importantly not from partying the night way with alcohol and drugs.

Act the way you want to feel has been an important lesson for me this year. If you want more energy you have pretend you already have it, i.e. you may not feel much like exercising but once you drag your arse off the sofa and do it you'll feel revitalized. I'm not talking about being fake but if you want to be happy you have to act happy until happiness becomes your natural state of being.

I'm posting this on a Monday for a couple of reasons but mostly to put a smile on the faces of any of you who are suffering from Monday blues. I've been there, almost depressed about having to start the week all over again. That's when I began making changes, so I ask if you do have Monday blahs ask yourself Why? Is it a little bit of laziness? That's okay it happens to all of us. Do you wish you could put the covers over your head and stay in bed? Why? Is it a genuine disdain the work you have to do today? One of the most profound questions I asked myself was why I had to work five days a week and play for two, I quickly made other arrangements (on a side note the money followed.) If you don't like how you have to spend the majority of your time  why do you do it?

Life is short and we have thousands of excuses to not do what makes us the happiest but are any of them valid? Are any worth it? They say "Happiness is the journey not the destination" for me this means we live our happiness every single day in all that we do! Don't get me wrong, there will be ups and downs I'm not a complete Pollyanna but many people don't even know what truly makes them happy. In the song below Pharrell sings "clap your hands if you know what happiness is to you?" What would make you the happiest? Once you know the only thing left to do is take the steps to make happiness the journey of your life?



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Friday, February 14, 2014

if you don't like where you are standing, take a step to the side

I had a friend pass away last week and the news came as a surprise. I've always dealt with death a little differently than those around me, it doesn't seem to hit me quite as 'hard' even when it is sudden. Of course I miss the person in physical form but I'm aware of souls eternal spirit and I continue to feel the connection so it allows me to concentrate instead on the time we were able to share here on earth with immense gratitude. The death of this friend was incredibly grounding we were great friends in high school and have children the same age, I have felt a complete shift in my own being, an immediate awakening if you will.

As you know with my version of the happiness project I have been working on cultivating a stronger sense of self love and I am incredibly aware that it is inner peace that is the key to my long lasting happiness. This inner peace can only be accomplished for me by being present, that is what it means to be alive, to actually live. I've never feared death but I have feared not being alive before it's over.

I once read "if you don't like where you are standing, take a step to the side" and it hit home. Instead of complaining about not liking something I've done what I can to change it and if it isn't something I can change then I simply have to accept what is, that is the harder part. A perfect example for me right now is with my children. My youngest is not sleeping through the night which happens with babies but it has been almost three years since I've had a full nights sleep so the sleep depravation is taking its tole on me. Lately when my children wake continuously I feel surges of anger. I try to not take it out on them but its not even a conscious reaction we rarely choose to respond to anyone we love in anger. Don't read more into this I've never, nor would I ever, hurt my children but there is definitely some psychic attack I'm not proud of.

I've been praying (more like begging) for help in releasing this anger in a positive way and the passing of my friend has ended up helping to heal this. I have so much more patience and I'm reminded of my favorite quote "you can't change peoples actions only your reactions to them." Now each time a child calls out for me I may have a moment of "Oh my God no" but quickly its replaced with gratitude. How awesome is it that my little ones find comfort in my arms and in truth, time and love are the only two things I have an unlimited supply of to give them. I am blessed to be healthy, to be alive and to have these little starseeds in my life, in the next blink of my eye they won't be babies anymore or I could be thew one slipping behind the veil unexpectedly.

It was Buddha who taught to truly live one must meditate on death and to some that may seem morbid but for me it is my reminder to be here now. I'm continuing with anew with gusto on my happiness project with a dedication in my heart to all of those who no longer have the opportunity. I want to feel the most joy I can and this month I still have a ways to go. Love your body and it will love you back is my theme for this week and I'm going to allow myself to begin indulging in things that feel good and I'm curious to know how you pamper yourself and in what ways you are choosing to cultivate more self love?




Wednesday, February 5, 2014

loving it forward



Hopefully a few days in you're beginning to feel the self love. I admittedly am still struggling but I haven't given up! I knew this wasn't going to be easy but even more so I know it is worth it. Every time I look in the mirror I work past the voice that whispers its disdain with anything it can find to fault. I remain eye locked until I can quiet the harshness, I repeat "I love you" until I see that twinkle of recognition.

I've begun doing affirmations each morning, my favorite is "I open my heart to love and radiate love" I do it the same way I do my mantra repeating 108 times doing one round of my mala beads. Then I've been following it up by setting an intention for the day; "Joy" "Laughter" but most of all "love love love". To intensify the magic I do a hand mudra, hands at heart center palms together fingers apart except for the thumbs and the pinkys, set the intention aloud or silently then seal the other fingers so your hands are in prayer position. I've also allowed my asana practice to center around heart openings, its amazing what flows your way when you open yourself to love. Lots of beauty but also the shadow side that needs to be worked on (more on that in future blogs).

Love is one of the only things you can give away continuously and still have more to give. It feels good to do things for other people and although I still hold doors open, make eye contact and smile at strangers that is normal behavior for where I come from, so this week each day I'm going to Love it forward. What does that mean? Well I'm going to do random acts of kindness for no reason other than to make someone else smile. Not loving to get love in return, just loving for the joy of love. An example; I plan on dropping some flowers off to the nursing home up the street from me, maybe just maybe it will brighten someones day. Simple gestures straight from my heart is the aim for the rest of the week.

Tell me what other ways you have decided to cultivate more love in your life?

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Where there is love there is life ~ Mahatma Gandhi

All you need is love...

February with it's hallmark holiday is known as the month of Love so I've decided to jump on the band wagon and dedicate the month to cultivating even more love in my life. How you may ask? Well I'm starting with self love. We've all heard if you don't love yourself no one else is going to love you!

I have a bit of a head start I am blessed to have a husband who is the very beat of my heart, kids who adore me and family that loves and supports me unconditionally yet I still don't love myself nearly as much as I should. In fact if I heard anyone speak to someone I loved the way I often speak to myself...well lets just say it wouldn't be pretty.

So my initiative will include baby steps to achieve this and by sharing my journey here I hope you'll be inspired to join in. Love doesn't cost us anything and the simple act of loving yields boundless return. No expectations, no need to find love from anyone or anything outside of my own heart, this is my goal.
I'm starting today, can I make it through the next few days being kind to me? For me this means absolutely no negative self talk! No putting myself down, no looking in the mirror and dreaming of botox, no bashing subtle or obvious on any level. Care to join me?

Each time I do look in the mirror I'll look deep into my eyes and say "I love you." It sounds corny but on a retreat in India years ago the Swami had us do this every morning, in fact it was paramount, if I couldn't look into my own eyes and express love, how could I fully love anyone else?

I watch both of my kids look at themselves in the mirror and they are madly in love with their own reflections. Remember when you were that innocent and never thought for a second you were anything but incredible? When you knew you were love itself? Guess what? You still are and it's time to fall back in love with you.

We can get there again, lets just take this first step together...