Mirror Mirror on the wall...

When I first arrived back in India my face began breaking out like crazy, something that has never happened in my life, why Lord am I getting pimples and wrinkles at the same time? I fought with the image in the mirror each day as I scanned my skin noticing more and more imperfections. When I told one of my friends I was doing battle with my image of beauty, in his wisdom he asked if it was my battle or for the collective consciousness of female energy? It hit me like a ton of bricks, this isn’t just mine, women everywhere question their image at some point in their lives. He reminded me to truly hear voice the in my head, was it mine? If not why pay any attention to it?

My partner says “don’t worry, I am going with heart not face” I know this is supposed to be a compliment but tears stream down my cheeks. “What is wrong my love? You know if I wanted someone for just beauty I could be with many girls” my cry turns into a wail. My heart knows what he is trying to say but the insecure girl inside of me begs for clarification. He explains “Radhika you are beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, not just on the outside but more importantly on the inside, I have chosen to be with you in this life, why concern yourself with a few lines or a pimple, your looks don’t matter because your soul is connected to mine and our hearts beat together.” Love makes everything beautiful.

Inner beauty, we claim and deep in our hearts we know is what’s truly important, yet across the world many women everywhere are driven to improve their external beauty. Here in India the quest is as prevalent as it is in the west, girlfriends are concerned with their skin and its lightness, they go for regular facials with the aim of obtaining a ‘fair’ complexion, the fairest of them all is a literal translation here and most skin creams and even powders on the market have lightening agents in them, even North American favorite Ponds Cold Cream claims to give you ‘lighter skin in just ten days’ (although from the list of ingredients I’m not sure what they classify as a lightening agent).

The opposite is true in the west; with the obsession there being darker skin. A culture consumed with self tanners, bronzers and tanning beds. I can’t deny that a day in the sun does bring about a certain glow to a person. When someone is healthy they tend to have some colour in their cheeks, when someone is sick they’re pale. In the east the epitome of health is in a fairer complexion and an unhealthy lifestyle makes itself known with a darker undertone. I am witness to both. It’s very fascinating to me and I can’t help but ponder what the connection is? I’d love your thoughts on the subject…

The Monkey Mafia

The other day we met friends at Radha Damodar temple, it was my first time visiting this temple and once again I was inspired by the beauty and moved by the Arti (worship done with music) it is custom to do a parikrama (walk encircling the temple) afterwards. While the four of us walked signs everywhere warned “Beware of the Monkeys”.

Reese monkeys are a common sight and nuisance in Vrindaban. My first encounter with them was with a friend, after doing some shopping, a rather mean looking monkey approached and bared his teeth. We were paralyzed with fear, it lunged towards her and she threw the bag she was carrying at him. He eagerly looked inside finding her newly purchased sneakers. Locals came and explained the monkey wanted food in exchange, it was extortion! We had nothing to offer and after a few moments with utter contempt the monkey took a bite out of a sneaker then threw them into in the trees.

The incident left me a little shell shocked and I’ve never felt entirely comfortable with these mangy creatures. When I made the decision to move here last fall I knew I would have to make peace with what I had now dubbed the “monkey mafia”. I witnessed the locals fearless in their approach throwing rocks or waving sticks like these animals were nothing more than crows pecking through garbage. I felt encouraged and began arming myself with rocks whenever they stood between me and my desired destination.

Occasionally sitting in meditation, one or two will come along hesitating when they see me, I make them aware I have weapons and await their response, often they just sit and begin grooming one another glancing in my direction, I let them be and enjoy my time on the discovery channel.  

One day a monkey was startled to find me and bared his teeth, I threw my rock, I missed, he reasserted himself. My arsenal was empty and in hesitation and flight mode I began walking backwards, he took a step towards me; the defenses I had relied on were put to the test and failed. I ran inside, he didn’t follow but my fear did.

I hide behind my partner whenever we encounter monkeys and the other night as we did the parikrama was no exception, I inched closer for shelter as we were scoped out. In an instant a monkey jumped on my friends back stealing his glasses. The beast sat on the roof as we searched our bags for something to offer. My girlfriend began negotiations offering an empty bag, another monkey approached and I found myself walking towards it, putting myself between her and the monkey daring it make a move. I’m not sure what came over me but my instincts to protect my friend were strong. We managed to get the glasses back undamaged, more so I realized fear exists only in our minds and my heart, prompted by my inner warrior, is fearless!

"Love so vast, love the sky cannot contain, How does all this fit within my heart?" - Rumi

This week we got married in a traditional Hindu ceremony. Although the experience in itself was foreign to my Christian-Judeo society upbringing there was a familiarity throughout. One of my favorite things about a Hindu wedding is that the bride and groom arrive at the altar as God and Goddess, in human form. The recognition of God self is a core value in the Hindu faith.

There were many rites involved, too many to fit in this blog but I will highlight a few; we greeted each other by placing flower garlands around each other’s neck, this is done in acceptance of one another. We then sat cross legged on the floor as the Pandit (Priest) lit a sacred fire in front of us. We made offerings to the fire (which represents God) while he recited prayers, we committed to one another and our spiritual growth as a couple. My partners sister placed sacred cloth over my shoulders and one over his; tying the two in a marriage knot. With my foot asleep we were asked to stand, my right foot was completely numb; it felt like nothing existed from the knee down. Feeling unstable I shifted my weight to my left.

We were instructed to take seven steps and I wasn’t sure if my right foot could bare my weight, I questioned how I was going to stand on a “nonexistent” foot but when my partner took my right hand in his I felt assured he would catch me if I fell, telling my brain my foot was there I realized this was symbolic of all major life decisions and trusted the feeling in my heart, I was nervous of losing my balance but deep down I knew it was safe to take the step.

We circled the fire seven times to represent seven lifetimes we were committing to one another. The seven blessings that were bestowed as we walked included; May this couple be blessed with an abundance of resources and comforts, May this couple be strong and complement each other, May this couple be blessed with prosperity and riches on all levels, May this couple be eternally happy, May this couple be blessed with a happy family, May this couple live in perfect harmony, true to their personal values, May this couple always be the best of friends.

My partner then recited these vows to me in Hindi:

 “We have taken the seven steps. You have become mine forever. We have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought I am sound. May life be honey-sweet for us. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled.”

My soul is not only home, the longing has finally settled…