Love Love Love

Love Love Love

Friday, October 31, 2014

Words can be misinterpreted but inner knowing and acceptance is truth



I have never had a conversation with my brother in laws. Never. Not two words spoken. And its not because we don't speak the same language, my Hindi is improving a bit since I began listening to pod casts while I cook, and they speak some English but it has never happened because it is not culturally acceptable.

I'm not even suppose to look the older brothers in the eyes, in fact I'm not supposed to look any male in the eyes here in India; I get it, it's considered disrespectful or for some a lot can be contained or misread within a look. Prostitutes use their eyes as a way to solicit clients and this is a country where affairs still happen frequently. I am in no way saying they don't in the West but here in rural India it is still somewhat culturally acceptable. In fact weeks after my husband and I were married he said "I want to make you a promise." his promise was that he would "never have a physical relationship with another woman." I was like; "Um, yeah, duh, were married." Years later I understand the value of that promise.

*Side note Brajwasi's (refers the local people of the area we live in) believe that you can never make a promise while in Braj that you do not intend to keep because you if break that promise your next birth will not be so good.

Looking into one another's eyes is a way to flirt and again I understand the concept, my husband and I spent hours "eye dancing" as it's called here in India; just being lost in one another's gaze, in fact there is a story of a king and queen who could climax by just gazing into one another's eyes. So I get it and I try not to judge it, it is as it is and when you choose to embrace life in a foreign country you can't expect things to be the way you're used to them. It is just so foreign to me as a Canadian girl, we are known world wide for our friendly nature, hearty smiles, and warm hugs.




It is interesting to me in general the lack of physical affection between family members in our joint family home. Back in Canada we are always touching one another; hugging, a hand on the shoulder, a subtle nudge but I've never seen affection other than towards children here. I remember one day years ago my father in law asking if we touch the feet of elders in Canada, I told him "no we hug", and he giggled like a school boy.

Now don't get me wrong affection exists, it is common to see grown men walking down the street holding hands or with their arms draped around one another. But in my little traditional town you rarely see a guy and a girl holding hands and if you do; guaranteed they aren't from our area. My husband has never touched me in public or in front of a family member, fortunately he is super lovey-dovey in our room in front of our children and when we travel to Canada he adapts and becomes a hugging machine.


Now although there has never been a direct conversation between me and my brother in laws they have learned all about me, and me about them, via my husband or sister in laws. I feel very bonded to them, I view them as my bothers and just being in their presence I know I am protected, I know I am cared for and I know they look at me as their sister and would do absolutely anything for me and my children.

Words can be misinterpreted but inner knowing and acceptance is truth.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Wednesdays Wisdom



Welcome once again to Wednesday's wisdom, I added this day to my blogging in an effort to blog more frequently but with four festivals back to back and an iffy internet connection at best I haven't been able to post a thing since last Wednesday. 

I do however have two stellar blogs written one on the festivals we just enjoyed and another regarding some information on my family life here in traditional India but for now I will share one of the most valuable pieces of wisdom I have ever learned. 



Wednesdays Wisdom:




It is truly surprising to me how simple and effective yet often overlooked our own instincts are. Usually because what we are feeling doesn't make sense to the rational mind.

But this nugget of wisdom works and I have learned its truth by both ignoring what I felt in the depth of my gut and choosing to trust it. You may never find out why you had an uneasy feeling about something or someone but TRUST those vibes always, in situations small and large. Your "gut" can inform you of peoples intentions long before your brain can make sense of them.

Our instincts can lead us away from danger, heal our bodies and keep us on a path that is directly connected to our authentic truth, our higher self if we just learn to trust it.

I would love to hear a story about how you listened to those vibes and what occurred for you?




Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Wednesday's Wisdom

In an effort to post more frequently I've decided to make Wednesdays a day for wisdom. I'll post a quote that has helped inspire my life each week to help us get through what is commonly known in the west as "hump day" the day we need to end before we roll down the hill to the weekend, although this truly has little to no meaning here in India since most people work a minimum of six days a week.

Welcome to my first installment of Wednesday's Wisdom




Taking responsibility for our energy takes consciousness, its not easy to remain peaceful when people and situations occur that rock us. It is easy to blame these circumstances for our bad moods but the truth is we are the only ones responsible for our energy, for our reactions and responses. We can't change other people only the way we respond to them. And no one or circumstance should be able to deter us from our inner peace. This is often  much easier said then done but something I aspire for every day.






Sunday, October 12, 2014

A Hindu fast brought me to a new place of being...



Karva Chauth was yesterday it is a fast observed by married Hindu women for the well being and longevity of their husbands.

Firstly I don't believe in any God that looks upon people as good or bad, deserving or undeserving, I believe we are born with one gift bestowed upon us from the creator and that is free will. There is some karma that comes into play, circumstances of life etc... but the reality we live in is our own manifestation. Our thoughts create this world. Simple. Conditioning and cultural beliefs continue to limit or empower us and dissolving patterns that no longer serve and taking control of ones thoughts is work, something I've been working on for over a decade now and it's still a work in progress. I'm telling you my beliefs because I could not approach this fast the same way my Hindu born sister in laws and mother in law did.

All of my western friends and family ask "well when do the men fast for the women?" The answer is "they don't" at first four years ago when I heard of this fast this was my response. I was angry that it always falls to the women to ensure health and prosperity for their husbands but time has changed my viewpoint.

I couldn't observe the fast back then, I had just given birth to our son who arrived two and half months premature. I was in Canada my Husband was frantically trying to get his visa to join us, I was overwhelmed, scared, but filled with all of the strength a mother can muster, I needed all my energy for our baby and my healing. my husband concurred.


The next year when the fast arrived I was pregnant with our second child and while many women still observe the fast while pregnant it was something I was not comfortable with especially with all that had happened in my first pregnancy, fortunately my husband and family in India felt the exact same way.

Last year I was in Canada visiting family with our two children. I decided to attempt it but I've admitted I cheated, sort of. The premise is that we fast from sunrise to moonrise, well the moon was visible by mid afternoon, so I did my little pooja and ate, I forgot the part aboutwe  watching my husbands face, but we still laugh at my attempt.

My husband questioned my ability to complete the strict fast that does not allow for even a single drop of water. I knew he wanted me to do it but would never pressure me, plus there is the whole cheating element, I mean I could always sneak a drink in my room when no one was looking, but why, what would be the point.


This time around I approached the fast as a challenge. I have climbed the Andes and jumped out of an airplane, there isn't anything I haven't accomplished that I truly wanted to.

I chose to observe this fast because it means a lot to my husband. I don't need him to fast for me in return. Just as I love him, not because he loves me but because I love for the beauty of loving.



It was a long morning without my usual liter of warm water and hot cup of chai but fortunately my kids were tired and took a three hour nap by lunchtime. I dozed on and off with them through the afternoon, at one point a saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life crawl across my ceiling, I jumped up and grabbed our broom but I knew if I started banging around trying get it out of my home I'd wake the kids so I settled back down. I knew it had to be a hallucination and then remembered all animals have a message for us; "The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy and creativity. Spiders are characterized by the skilled weaving of intricate webs and patience in awaiting their prey, Spiders remind us to tune into life's ebbs and flows and ingeniously weave every step of our destiny."







A little while later I was laying in a meditative, or comatose depending on how you look at it, state when a ray of purple light shot down through the ceiling into my head and coursed through my body. All of my training as a holistic healer knew my crown chakra had just opened.


The crown chakra is our connection to the divine, and our ability to be fully connected spiritually. I knew Goddess energy and just been awakened in my body, I felt different, empowered, beautiful and alive in my feminine energy.






My husband came home and took the children so I could help prepare the feast for our pooja (worship ceremony) and ourselves. I dressed in a beautiful red and gold sari and in true Chanda Mama (the moon) tradition she stayed hidden until hours after her normal arrival. Along with my mother in law and four sister in laws (and my Nanny Ji via Skype) we did pooja in the room that houses our home deity, making offerings of sweets, bread and curry and rice to the divine. Then each of us took turns doing a ritual to the moon and our respective husbands.





My husband then brought me to our room and fed me a glass of water, it was romantic and beautiful. We shared a delicious meal along with our children and look of love in his eyes is even stronger than it was the day we married...



Thursday, October 9, 2014

The grass is always greener on the other side...



I made a new friend online, her life mirrors mine in many ways; left everything behind in the west to move here to India, she is married to a local, the love of her life. She talked about how her in-laws met her at the airport with roses and how her mother in law picks flowers each morning for them to adorn their hair with and I couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. Her life sounds so shanti I thought to myself, how did I allow mine to get so far removed from the picture I wanted, the peace that brought me to India in the first place.

Social media has a way of glamorizing our lives, we edit our words, pick the most flattering pictures to post and talk mainly about the sweet stuff. I knew I was just as guilty as others for this but I justified it because I truly am someone who wants to share in love and light, I want to make people smile and shed a little happiness into each day. The people in my feeds that were always complaining I blocked or unfriended, there is enough negativity in the world I choose to use social media as a place of inspiration and sharing positive vibes. Turns out I may be doing a disservice. 

See there are days, days when I've wanted to complain that my mother in law was in a bad mood, again! Or that I'm ready to tear my hair out because my toddlers won't give me a minute of silence. or that my husband hasn't put his phone down in days because he is addicted to candy crush and I feel like taking his phone and throwing it across the room but I haven't written a word about these moments, which has led to others coveting my life.

This illusion we are creating on these sites can lead to a deeper feeling of loneliness. I found a really interesting video that delves deeper into this theory

m


Yesterday I got a chance to actually chat with this new friend only to find out her life is not at all as it seems, in fact other than the fact that she is married to the love of her life the rest of it really sucks at the moment. My little world seemed to get brighter as we chatted, not that I took any enjoyment hearing of her hardships or felt superior in any way for having managed Indian culture but just in the reminder that the grass is not always greener. It was a valuable lesson in envy. something I didn't even recognize existed in my world,

I'm meditating surrendering to what is and once again appreciating all that I have, But mostly I want to find balance, I want to be fearlessly authentic, truly real, even when there is an option to edit...






Sunday, October 5, 2014

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” ~ Socrates



"Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking the whole world belongs to you" ~ Lao Tzu


The town where we live in India is small, quite small in fact it's still considered rural and for good reason. You shouldn't expect to see any shopping malls or box stores, our market is the picturesque outdoor Indian stall bazaar style where bartering is the natural process. Quaint and lively but goodness what a girl wouldn't do for an air conditioning during the summer months.

There are no fast food establishments but lots of vendors selling fresh homemade delicacies anything from a samosa to cut up carrots with black salt (when the season allows) can be purchased roadside.



I love the freshness and that the choices aren't limited to burgers and fries but again just that space to sit and relax and Oh My a kids play area now that would be a blast but then again this is India and a kids play area could be a little scary with the lack of sanitation or basic understanding of bacteria control.

We do have a couple of areas that are park-like to stroll in, but they're infested with rhesus monkeys or as I've dubbed them the "monkey mafia." While I've learned to live with them and am doing my best to teach my kids to not be scared of these critters one must respect the fact that they are wild animals and more so shit heads! A stroll in the park while being on high alert as to the whereabouts of these thieves and most importantly making sure my toddlers don't come between a mother and baby monkey because that never ends well isn't high on my enjoyment list.



But what we lack in modern conveniences we make up for in divine presence and old world simplicity. The food we have available is locally grown, it comes in daily from the farms, they set up roadside and sell their fruits and vegetables, we mix dough and make our own bread, everything is freshly prepared. My kids play outside in the fresh air for the better part of each day, we go about our day without the need for multiple distractions and I'm doing my best to just be, despite my propensity bore easily. And although I am grateful for this beautiful existence I'll admit I'm craving a bit of an adventure, lets see what transpires...


Like what you've read? Leave a donation, $1, $2, $5 whatever you choose, everything is appreciated!