Spiritually it is miraculous to be growing a life inside me. There are times when I feel flutters and wonder if it’s my baby and I’ve been told it is quite possible to feel movement at this point if you go into the stillness. There are moments when my heart knows it’s my baby doing what doctors refer to as water ballet. When I eat something the baby enjoys I feel happiness outside of me but part of me, even some yoga postures bring a joy and I swear I can feel the baby’s delight.
The first three months of pregnancy weren’t so bad, although I did feel nausea I never actually vomited. I was extremely tired, emotional, and lost some weight but they say that is pretty normal. Now that I’m in what is known as the honeymoon trimester I have to admit I feel pretty amazing physically. Except the fact that I have insatiable hunger, I eat and feel full but within minutes I’m ravenous once again. Being from Canada I still miss the variety of foods available on any given day, but knowing that I am eating local and organic is not just good for my baby but also Mother earth.
The emotional turbulence has been unnerving, I was expecting to cry, I was not expecting such strong sensations of anger. Last week I was the horror movie version of myself, when I finally grounded back into my body I wasn’t even sure what words had come out of my mouth, I was vaguely aware of threats and by the look on my partners face he had just encountered a demon. I spent the better part of the next day in meditation, contemplating how to remain emotionally grounded amidst the tidalwave of hormones that are bound to intensify as time progresses.
I am proud of the fact that I am (for the most part) conscious of my thoughts, words and actions but during that instance I lost touch with not only reality but my own heart. In truth I do remember a pivotal moment just before I turned into a lunatic where I thought “cross your eyes and tell him he’s making you crazy” it would have lightened everything but I chose to ignore the prompt. There were a couple more prompts but they were like distant fog horns, warning of shallow water but my bearings were lost and I couldn’t make out their direction.
The conclusion I came to; this is a gift, not only for growing this precious little starseed but for evolving my own consciousness. My intention is to ride the emotion rollercoaster as it comes but to remain true to my inner voice, listening to the prompts of my heart and most importantly acting on them. I believe if I can remain present during the onslaught of hysteria pregnancy sometimes brings I can use it as a gateway for ascension.
The first three months of pregnancy weren’t so bad, although I did feel nausea I never actually vomited. I was extremely tired, emotional, and lost some weight but they say that is pretty normal. Now that I’m in what is known as the honeymoon trimester I have to admit I feel pretty amazing physically. Except the fact that I have insatiable hunger, I eat and feel full but within minutes I’m ravenous once again. Being from Canada I still miss the variety of foods available on any given day, but knowing that I am eating local and organic is not just good for my baby but also Mother earth.
The emotional turbulence has been unnerving, I was expecting to cry, I was not expecting such strong sensations of anger. Last week I was the horror movie version of myself, when I finally grounded back into my body I wasn’t even sure what words had come out of my mouth, I was vaguely aware of threats and by the look on my partners face he had just encountered a demon. I spent the better part of the next day in meditation, contemplating how to remain emotionally grounded amidst the tidalwave of hormones that are bound to intensify as time progresses.
I am proud of the fact that I am (for the most part) conscious of my thoughts, words and actions but during that instance I lost touch with not only reality but my own heart. In truth I do remember a pivotal moment just before I turned into a lunatic where I thought “cross your eyes and tell him he’s making you crazy” it would have lightened everything but I chose to ignore the prompt. There were a couple more prompts but they were like distant fog horns, warning of shallow water but my bearings were lost and I couldn’t make out their direction.
The conclusion I came to; this is a gift, not only for growing this precious little starseed but for evolving my own consciousness. My intention is to ride the emotion rollercoaster as it comes but to remain true to my inner voice, listening to the prompts of my heart and most importantly acting on them. I believe if I can remain present during the onslaught of hysteria pregnancy sometimes brings I can use it as a gateway for ascension.
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