I had a friend pass away last week and the news came as a surprise. I've always dealt with death a little differently than those around me, it doesn't seem to hit me quite as 'hard' even when it is sudden. Of course I miss the person in physical form but I'm aware of souls eternal spirit and I continue to feel the connection so it allows me to concentrate instead on the time we were able to share here on earth with immense gratitude. The death of this friend was incredibly grounding we were great friends in high school and have children the same age, I have felt a complete shift in my own being, an immediate awakening if you will.
As you know with my version of the happiness project I have been working on cultivating a stronger sense of self love and I am incredibly aware that it is inner peace that is the key to my long lasting happiness. This inner peace can only be accomplished for me by being present, that is what it means to be alive, to actually live. I've never feared death but I have feared not being alive before it's over.
I once read "if you don't like where you are standing, take a step to the side" and it hit home. Instead of complaining about not liking something I've done what I can to change it and if it isn't something I can change then I simply have to accept what is, that is the harder part. A perfect example for me right now is with my children. My youngest is not sleeping through the night which happens with babies but it has been almost three years since I've had a full nights sleep so the sleep depravation is taking its tole on me. Lately when my children wake continuously I feel surges of anger. I try to not take it out on them but its not even a conscious reaction we rarely choose to respond to anyone we love in anger. Don't read more into this I've never, nor would I ever, hurt my children but there is definitely some psychic attack I'm not proud of.
I've been praying (more like begging) for help in releasing this anger in a positive way and the passing of my friend has ended up helping to heal this. I have so much more patience and I'm reminded of my favorite quote "you can't change peoples actions only your reactions to them." Now each time a child calls out for me I may have a moment of "Oh my God no" but quickly its replaced with gratitude. How awesome is it that my little ones find comfort in my arms and in truth, time and love are the only two things I have an unlimited supply of to give them. I am blessed to be healthy, to be alive and to have these little starseeds in my life, in the next blink of my eye they won't be babies anymore or I could be thew one slipping behind the veil unexpectedly.
It was Buddha who taught to truly live one must meditate on death and to some that may seem morbid but for me it is my reminder to be here now. I'm continuing with anew with gusto on my happiness project with a dedication in my heart to all of those who no longer have the opportunity. I want to feel the most joy I can and this month I still have a ways to go. Love your body and it will love you back is my theme for this week and I'm going to allow myself to begin indulging in things that feel good and I'm curious to know how you pamper yourself and in what ways you are choosing to cultivate more self love?
As you know with my version of the happiness project I have been working on cultivating a stronger sense of self love and I am incredibly aware that it is inner peace that is the key to my long lasting happiness. This inner peace can only be accomplished for me by being present, that is what it means to be alive, to actually live. I've never feared death but I have feared not being alive before it's over.
I once read "if you don't like where you are standing, take a step to the side" and it hit home. Instead of complaining about not liking something I've done what I can to change it and if it isn't something I can change then I simply have to accept what is, that is the harder part. A perfect example for me right now is with my children. My youngest is not sleeping through the night which happens with babies but it has been almost three years since I've had a full nights sleep so the sleep depravation is taking its tole on me. Lately when my children wake continuously I feel surges of anger. I try to not take it out on them but its not even a conscious reaction we rarely choose to respond to anyone we love in anger. Don't read more into this I've never, nor would I ever, hurt my children but there is definitely some psychic attack I'm not proud of.
I've been praying (more like begging) for help in releasing this anger in a positive way and the passing of my friend has ended up helping to heal this. I have so much more patience and I'm reminded of my favorite quote "you can't change peoples actions only your reactions to them." Now each time a child calls out for me I may have a moment of "Oh my God no" but quickly its replaced with gratitude. How awesome is it that my little ones find comfort in my arms and in truth, time and love are the only two things I have an unlimited supply of to give them. I am blessed to be healthy, to be alive and to have these little starseeds in my life, in the next blink of my eye they won't be babies anymore or I could be thew one slipping behind the veil unexpectedly.
It was Buddha who taught to truly live one must meditate on death and to some that may seem morbid but for me it is my reminder to be here now. I'm continuing with anew with gusto on my happiness project with a dedication in my heart to all of those who no longer have the opportunity. I want to feel the most joy I can and this month I still have a ways to go. Love your body and it will love you back is my theme for this week and I'm going to allow myself to begin indulging in things that feel good and I'm curious to know how you pamper yourself and in what ways you are choosing to cultivate more self love?
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