It’s been two weeks since I posted last, life has been a bit of a whirlwind. I ended up with a cold (upper respiratory) and although it’s change of season in India and most of my family is walking around with fevers, sniffles and coughs I know a big part of the reason I came down with the symptoms is stress. Louise L Hay in her book “You Can Heal Your Life” says colds are caused by “mental disorder and confusion” and I admit that was my life leading up to it.
My Indian visa expired August 2nd and my partner and I had to make a choice on what course of action to take. We decided it would be best for me to head to Canada for a visit with my family, get a pregnancy checkup from my doctor, take the time to concentrate and finish my novel and meet with my agent, within the two months before I can apply for a reentry visa, and so I write today from my family’s home in Canada with mixed emotions.
Saying goodbye to my Indian family was harder than I expected. I had been looking forward to a break and get around some western comforts but as I reached the gate of our home to get into the car awaiting to whisk me off to the airport I broke down into tears. My family stood wiping tears from their eyes as we hugged. It was sad but in retrospect so uplifting, I now understand how much they love me and have fully accepted me as part of their family, at times my ego would like to have me believe they only tolerate me, but leaving for my journey to Canada I realized how much they have tucked me comfortably deep within their hearts, how much I am their family.
Being away from my partner I feel like part of me is missing, as cliché as that sounds, it is the truth. It is like someone cut off a part of my body, my soul and its missing presence is undeniable. Instead of wallowing I am doing my best to embrace the opportunity of being back in the west, remembering certain parts of myself that perhaps I have lost in the last six months. My life between India and Canada has always been about trying to find the sacred balance between east and west, and I know me being back here is God’s plan to help me achieve that goal.
Waking up this morning I grounded myself into my Canadian experience, when sadness threatened to consume me after hearing my partner’s voice on the phone, I diverted my mind by embracing the emotion as another beautiful reminder of the truth In our love. It’s hard to be apart but this is an opportunity for this spiritual warrior to find even more balance on my sacred path. Looking forward to the insights this voyage will bring…
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