smile and the world smiles with you...

Everyone wants to know more about Indian culture and the biggest differences I’ve noticed. One of the most confusing things I witnessed was the lack of smiling faces. Indian people come across as quite stern, especially the women. One of my first experiences in India was at an ashram, I was convinced the women who worked there disliked me based on what I felt were disapproving looks. What I discovered is smiling in public or around strangers is not part of their nature, when you do see any girl smile their hand immediately covers their mouths and laughter is often stifled before it leaves their lips.

The first wedding I attended I watched as the bride and groom had their photos taken, there was no smiling in fact it looked somber. A few family members offered a closed mouth grin but nothing like we are used in the west. My partner explained if you do smile in the presence of others the mouth should always remained closed. In fact when we first began spending time together we’d be driving through the streets on his motorcycle and I’d be smiling at everyone and everything because I was having so much fun. One day he sat me down and said “please don’t take this in wrong way but you need to stop smiling with such a big smile.” “What?” I stammered having always been complimented on my smile I wasn’t sure how to react. He explained ”when we are alone it is fine, I love your smile and want to see it always but out on the street it means something different and you don’t hear the comments because you are still learning Hindi but I have to stop myself per day from getting off my bike and beating people.”

I understood, looking around at locals and other western women who had adopted this culture as their own they were all much more reserved.  One day my fourteen year old niece and I were giggling when she shared with me that her mother told her that “she needed to stop laughing so much”. I couldn’t imagine these words ever being muttered in the west but understood her mother was enticing her to begin behaving like a grown up.

That being said I want you to know India is far from stern, my family’s home is filled with laughter and smiles daily but the minute we go outside a different face is shown, the biggest reason according to the women is to avoid unwanted attention. My husband and I find balance always breaking the photo rule; his friends teasingly say it’s our “Canadian smile.” Once in awhile we’ll also jokingly strike our official “Indian face” which always brings about big laughs. It’s not something I can change about the culture it's something I have to respect. I am far more conscious of when and where it’s appropriate but I often remind myself that this is afterall the land that brought us Laughing Yoga…

My goal is to make a career out of writing, if you would like to support my efforts you can do so by clicking below and making a donation, thank you for your continued support